Progress towards my new life...
 

The house is on the market (as of Saturday!). AH worked all day Saturday and Sunday fixing/finishing his landscaping projects. I got all the interior paint touched up, scrubbed, etc. Pictures turned out great... It really is a beautiful house :). We have a brokers open house tomorrow and a regular open house on Sunday. I'm saying my prayers for a quick sale.

The divorce stuff is moving forward. Financial paperwork is being assembled.

CPS is doing their investigation... Which may help me get sole custody... May not. My lawyer advised me that I may not have a choice and may end up with joint custody... But that I should stay on my toes with documenting stuff, calling cops any time I'm concerned, etc.

I'm working hard on my recovery. Talk to my sponsor daily. Two meetings a week, plus a weekly visit to my therapist. I'm getting stronger... Starting to see just how much my own mind get hurt me, and if I focus it properly... How much my mind can heal me!! The pain AND the healing are all right within me!!

The kids are doing okay. We drove around the school district today... Looking at houses that are for sale in our price range. They want something near one of the parks or the school playground!! It was fun to see them embrace change as a good thing!!!

My sponsor and I came up with a great idea tonight! We were discussing a recent interaction with AH. She said, "oh girl! You done good!! Reward yourself for a job well done!". We talked about ideas on how to track our "wins"... Journaling came to mind first... And then she mentioned, "these moments are like beads strung on a necklace. Each pretty jewel representing a job well done!". And that's when it hit us! I'm going to start stringing real beads... Maybe make a necklace, maybe a keychain... I don't know. But make something that is a symbol to me of my growth! Something that I can carry with me everyday, that isn't as obvious as a notebook, or al-anon literature! I love it! I love the idea of hunting down unique, intricate beads - that represent how the new me handles life!!

So anyways, I'm taking it one day a time... Thats all I can do right now.

Thanks for listening!
Shannon

Shannon,

So glad for you, I hope the custody works out in your favor.

The beads are a great idea, take you wins and make something beautiful to chart your progress, what a great positive reinforcement.

Best of luck on selling the house fast.

:scoregood

Wow, good job! You have improved so much these last couple months. Your recovery is shining through. Keep up the good work.

Your friend,

It is exciting to hear in your posts how much stronger you feel taking your power back. Even though I was full of a lot of self doubt, moving forward and taking my power back step by step was immensely liberating!

And I love the bead idea...it reminds me of the old charm bracelets or today's version of them - beaded bracelets with each bead symbolizing something special. I think that's a fabulous idea...and one I may borrow from you... ; )

What a wonderful post!
Having strength and courage and moving forward is all wonderful, but admittedly exhausting to the body and spirit. You are minding that so well and keeping your lifelines open with therapy and meetings....Bravo!!
The response of your children in working through the changes and seeing how they are taking part is a real positive message to put out here. When we make healthy changes and accept them as positive, children feel that and see that and they too accept healthy change more easily. Keeping in mind the healthy changes can often be the toughest to make, of course.

I'm so proud of you!

Alice

Reading your post gives me such inspiration to stay strong! Thank you so much for sharing!

Shannon, you're doing great and I'm praying that the house sells quickly.

Thank you all so much for the support! It is hard... really hard, but it's so worth it. I have moments where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry... so I allow myself to feel the hurt, but limit how long I stay in it. Divorce is not fun, it's not happy... it's a loss. There's lots of grieving, but it is also a new beginning.

The trick for me has been finding balance between the grief and the anticipation of life ahead.

I just got a call from the real estate agent... there's a couple that's VERY interested in the house and would like to see it ASAP. So, i'm keeping my prayers going strong. I will be glad if the sale goes quickly, but admittedly am still sad to let go of our "home" (which is really just a house!).

Shannon just think of all the new memories that you and the kids are going to make in your new home and you will be free of all the chaos that you're in now so you're right new beginnings! Since my divorce I've been trying to do as many fun things as I can think of and I am having fun but there are times when I do break down and cry just mourning what could have been, ugh.

It's perfectly normal to be sad to let go of the house... It's where you brought your kids home from the hospital and where they had lots of firsts.... I think that when I try and tell myself "don't be upset about it, it's silly" is when I have the hardest time. Let yourself be sad. It's okay. It's normal.

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE your bead idea and may just have to steal it for myself!

Fingers crossed for the house to sell!

Old memories, pressed between the pages of your mind....new memories created everyday.

You have come so far, your future with your children is so bright!

I will think positive thoughts...lets hope the interested couple will come
through for you!

wow! what a wonderful post! congratulations to you on all of your progress and thank you for sharing. :)

sending you my best during this time of changes. i hope it all goes as smoothly as possible.

Love seeing this transformation in you as it is happening. Keep up the good stuff.

Hot diggity dog...life is filled with miracles... Big and small.

I saw so many amazing things today... Two blue jays flitting around on the side of the road. The leaves changing to their glorious fall colors. A short pleasant chat with a store clerk. A kind word of caution (careful!! This coffee is REALLY hot and don't want you to get burned!!) from the coffee shop manager! All these little moments were less than 10-15 seconds... But they each brought peace and joy to me. It was amazing!

I was driving home from work, and got a call from former colleagues... They want to meet next week to discuss a job opportunity for me!!

I've laid the ground work. I've opened my life up to change... Asking only for God's will. And in letting go, and keeping an open mind... Great and amazing things are happening.

The change and growth I feel today are mind-boggling!!

Love the choice of this word; recovery when applied really does have the power of transformation, and we are reading it in Shannon's posts.

Happy for you, Shannon, and good work!

CLMI

unbelievably happy for you!!! :hug: Best wishes for your transition into a new life!