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A new feeling...

Old 10-10-2011, 07:37 AM
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A new feeling...

Recently i have been feeling "invisible".. kinda feels weird, actually really weird. Like the world is really big and no one sees me. Maybe its living in FL and im from the Midwest and most of the time here people lack human kindness or i haven't seen any family for awhile. At work i have coworkers that if you talk to them or not talk to them its all the same. I met a new friend at the dog park and she has reached out to me a couple of times but i don't feel "interested" even tho she is very nice. I am no contact with RAH three months now and i don't miss him or the drama.. i have made it thru some challenges without reaching out to him and i should feel proud but i don't... i don't "feel" anything or anyone right now...
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:11 PM
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I see you!

Kidding aside - this sounds normal, or maybe you and I are simply abnormal! I have felt like this...I think its a part of the healing process from trauma and grief. Three months is not very long in the scheme of things.

You could take a proactive step and go join some classes in something new (yoga? gourmet cooking?) or even call that dog park friend and go have lunch.

Sometimes simply rolling with it until it goes away helps. I have these on and off again feelings of "surrealness"...like I am outside of myself looking in on my life.
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:38 PM
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Maybe just give it some time, I know when I was going through an ugly divorce and battling depression making friends was really hard.

Tuffgrl has some excellent suggestions for making new froends, I would add volunteering to the list.

Best of luck to you, I'm sure you will do great!
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Old 10-11-2011, 09:30 PM
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I felt numb for a couple of months too. I accepted it as part of the detachment and no contact. But it was more than that. It was part of the healing process. The fog was lifting and my ability to see the light of day, had a hold on me.

Even though I was sad, it was like a life sentence was commuted and I had all kinds of catching up to do with the world. And I got to do it on my terms. ( somedays were busy, other days I would just sit and think.)

Sending you a big hug from the midwest. In a couple of months when the temp falls to 20 below zero, and that cold north wind begins to blow, and my world is covered in snow, we will all be wishing for that florida sunshine.

All my best to you..........
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Old 10-12-2011, 12:05 PM
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I know just how you felt, I had that experience a while back, a kind of alienation. I don't know what causes it but I'm sure the stress of dealing with a rollercoaster relationship doesn't help. I think maybe when you make a big decision,like confronting the A's behaviour it can throw a lot of other perceptions out of kilter, even though you may feel empowered.
I found myself feeling quite alone at times, optimistic one day and down the next, and the way you see other people changes. My solution, the only one I know, treat myself well, eat and sleep well and spend time with people I value and I know value me.
Take care.
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Old 10-12-2011, 06:38 PM
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Im new here too. I left my husband of 25 years 3 months ago. We have 3 daughters only one a minor. She stays at each house half the time. AH stopped drinking 2 weekes ago but thinks he can do it on his own. Been down that road before. I told him I was going to start Ala-non all he can do is put me down and say I should have done it before I left. I am not talking to him that much because when I do He just has something mean to say. Everything that went wrong in our marriage was my fault too. Must be nice to think you do no worng. I just started working on me. Man its going to alot of work. I can do it.
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Old 10-12-2011, 06:50 PM
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FLsunshine...I am sorry you are feeling this way right now. Trust that it will pass and you will feel joy again. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 10-12-2011, 06:54 PM
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I felt like this recently. Invisible. But you aren't nor am I. It is about being around the people that truly 'see' us. It can take time to make those connections but they are out there.

Alcoholism and recovery are selfish. I don't think they 'see' anyone but themselves first. You have to see yourself first but for codependents, that is a challenge.
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