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-   -   Are you thinking of getting a roommate? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/238117-you-thinking-getting-roommate.html)

BobbyJ 10-06-2011 09:27 PM

Are you thinking of getting a roommate?
 
Dang..I just preached to Shannon about taking deep breaths like we did during child birth and here I am...Deep Breath!!!

Got a new room mate. (Wrong Choice)..Thought it was a good idea to help me with this large house payment, since it still hasnt sold!!!

Funny to think a year ago, how I was married to man and I never realized how much he was drinking and how much he was hiding those dang vodka bottles.

Funny to think, how much I have learned about alcoholism in just one year.

Funny to think, I wondered why the new roommate is obessed with taking the garbage out to the curb.

Gawd!!! - It was like a flash back....I opened up the white bag, no vodka, but there sure was rum & wine bottles in there...

She hides it. I have never seen her drink it. But the idea just
makes me sick.

So I put down "MY LAW" in "MY HOUSE"....Ha Ha...Like, am I really that stupid to believe that would work? Maybe a year ago, not today...

I do my thing, I preach my Alanon sermons, and I tell it like it is...

Cant stand it, but it's a great reminder..."I'm glad I'm not married to that diesase"

She met a new guy. So hopefully will be moving along soon...

I have learned, I really like my time and my sober healthy home...

Roommate...Never again!!!:headbange

Willybluedog 10-06-2011 10:58 PM

It is hard enough trying to manage kids and negotiating with a spouse, a person paying rent with no emotional ties to you has got to be worse.

Sorry you are having a tough time, hope things work out.

Peace be with you.

laurie6781 10-06-2011 11:06 PM

Oh, I have had 'roommates' over the years when I needed to 'ease' a 'financial' crunch.

I learned a few things in how I worded my ad, included things like 'a mature working woman', 'quiet house', 'alcohol and drug free house', etc etc and kept 'their lease' on a month to month basis so that I could give them 30 days notice as they could give me.

I had one bad one, and she was out 30 days after notice (in total she was in my home 47 days, lol) and yes, she was my first roommate, but I learned from that. Did a LOT of interviewing after that, and some checking too, including employer, and things got better. House rules were posted on the refrigerator. Roommates shelves in refrig, pantry and freezer were marked. Spot in laundry room for roommates own personal laundry products, etc

So, don't give up, lol just change your way of doing things and you can still get that financial help in an honest way, with very little interference from a roommate.

I should also share that two of those 'roommates' became very dear and close friends and remain so to this day even though both have moved to other parts of the country now.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Love and hugs,

GettingBy 10-07-2011 05:53 AM

Well, she came into your life for a reason... to help you, teach you, and give you growth/experience. Embrace this learning opportunity - what a wonderful way to put your Al-anon tools to work :)

I really like what Laurie has posted... that's some darn good ESH!!!

Now.... BREATH!!!!

Tuffgirl 10-07-2011 08:40 AM

Yeesh! Amazing to think how common alcoholism is, huh?


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