when do you stop feeling scared?
 

I feel nothing but scared right now...at what point do you stop being scared and accept that this is what it is? We are this close to separating and he is basically giving me an out...but I'm so scared I cant tell him that I'd like nothing more than to run away right now...

I remember the fear I felt when I left my EXAH.

I also remember that I believed to the very core of my being that I just could not live that way anymore.

It took meetings, a sponsor, and working the steps to help me get past that fear.

I also feel this...I just cant do this anymore...I need to take myself and my girls out of this situation...I know I do...

I overcame the fear when the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving. At that point there wasn't any way I wasn't going to leave. Been gone 6 months now and I don't regret one minute of it.

Your friend,

That's when I spent a lot of time asking my higher power for strength to do the next right thing. The only way to get past the fear is to walk through it, hon.

We are all with you here in spirit. You are not alone.

Hey, I wasn't named "quievering bowl of jello" for nothing. My middle name was "scared sh*tless", as other SR members can attest.

Seriously though, I faced my fear when I imagined my daughter as a grown woman, trapped in the same toxic and destructive relationship I had with my then-husband, unable to break the cycle because no one showed her how. That did it for me. I knew there was something I could do, in that moment, to change our circumstance. Yes, it would mean I would be unpopular with XAH and yes, it meant breaking my stepson's heart and leaving him behind. I made the leap anyways, with the help of SR and constant prayers to my HP...and A LOT of "to do" lists, which helped me stay focused on the steps to achieve my end goal: freedom from the madness I lived in everyday.

We're here with you. You can do this.

When you accept that everything you have to do is for the greater good of you and your children. You all deserve it.
Sending you strength, you are not alone.

When he's out of your life and you take a deep breath and feel the exhilarating freedom of having some control over your everyday circumstances again. You might still be scared, but it won't matter to you anymore.

My fear left when I took back my power, when I had a plan and the determination to follow through. I stood up and demanded that I be counted, and, there was no more fear.

It is so scary to start on a new path. It helped me to visualize myself trying to hold onto the rope of my marriage/alcoholic/dreams yet also reach for a new and improved life. You can't tug yourself in between for very long. When you are ready, you'll let go of the rope. It's very hard when you leap and not know how or where you are going to fall. It's so hard and scary, but only you can decide what your truth is, what you can and can't live with. When you are living your truth, the strength just comes to you. Taking the first step is the hardest. I'm full of faith b/c I also know that my HP is with me every step. He always was there, being patient, beside me waiting for me to choose a life of peace. Good luck. You are not alone. Be strong.

step 1,2,3