alaskasunshine

I am an alcoholic and wanted to say thank you to SR and all of you who are in relationships with alcoholics who post here. I sat glued to my computer for hours on end reading about, "my" life from your perspective. (the thread about things normies dont know got me in the gut, it was my life I was reading about) You told me how much it hurt, how much I HURT him, my b/f, the man I love and live with. I really didnt know the extent of my damage because he cant bring himself to tell me how much my drinking hurts him, he just withdraws further. What he does say is that although I may not remember what I said, (during a blackout) he can never forget. OUCH
But the part about how we lie, your discussions on it. Wow. I do lie. Even sober I find myself coming up with "white lies" for NOTHING. Nothing to do with anything. It comes so naturally to me now. But reading it from your perspective really helped me see how unnatural and wrong it is. I always thought I was protecting him from the truth. But he knew. He always knew. The last time I wanted to drink I was honest with him. I told him. I told him how weak I was. I ended up drinking anyway, but it was the last time I drank.
This disease sucks. And I'll tell you what, the only people I have seen make it are hard core AA'ers. They come in to the rooms crawling on their bellies, having lost families, jobs, everything, and the sucessful ones stay. That is my intention. To stay. And I am starting by getting honest. No more lies.

Stlsunny12

Good Luck to you! Thank you for your post.

MyGirlGracie

Sunshine... thank you for your post. I hope you continue to progress in your recovery and know that it is always good to hear "from the other side". Hold on to your determination and the best of luck to you!

seek

At least you are stepping up to the plate and admitting your wrongs. That is a huge step that I wish the alcoholics I know would do. It would mean a lot.