dollydo

For those who read my first thread, here is an update.

My cousin had his surgery, they removed the large tumor, his tonsils and 45 lymph nodes. The large tumor is stage 4. The tonsils and other lymph nodes were negative.

They cannot identify the source of the cancer, they want to do radiation and chemo.

He has refused any further treatment. He, already, has a new lump on his neck.

I spoke to him yesterday, it was his 68th birthday, he will not see 69.

His death wish will soon become reality.

Alcohol and cigarettes are killing him. He did not smoke for a week after his last surgery, I left and off he went a huffin and a puffin. I am calling him two or three times a week, he has been in the bar most every time.

I had a nurse coming in a few times a week to check on him, he gave her such a hard time.....she quit.

Planning to go there in a couple of weeks, I will sit with him and attempt to work out a final care plan. He doesn't realize that he will suffer at the end and will need care. If he won't cooperate, I will enforce my power of attorney and have him declared incompetent.

My cousin, to my knowledge, is a 3rd or maybe 4th generation alcoholic, his grandfather and father were ones, all his uncles on that side of the family were ones, all his cousins on that side of the family were also alcoholics....they are all dead as a result of drinking. The predisposition was passed down from generation to generation and living with alcoholics set the stage...how sad is that?

So, that's it, soon my cousin will no longer have to wish for death, he will have accomplished his goal.

Freedom1990

How very sad, Dolly. He is getting his wish.

Impurrfect

(((Dolly))) that is sad, but it sounds like you are facing reality and taking care of business for the eventual end. That can't be easy, but I guess it comes along with the acceptance that others have the right to live (or die) if they choose.

Big hugs and prayers,

Amy

dollydo

Impurrfect,

Another situation that I have no power to control, change or cure. You are right, it is his choice, I am not happy but resolved to accept his decision.

Thanks for the support....Dolly

LifeRecovery

I just want to send kind thoughts your way (to both of you).

It is all I have to offer, but am thinking of you both.

I know how hard it is to watch a loved one lose themselves physically. I cannot imagine with the other layer built in also.

Seren

All I can offer are hugs and prayers for peace.

marie1960

I will keep you in my thoughts dolly,
your cousin is truly blessed to have you.
remember to take care of you, too