nowhere to escape

Old 09-30-2011, 10:58 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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nowhere to escape

I have asked AH not to come into our bedroom more than once this week after he starts up with the verbal attacks so that I can get away from him and he will stew for a few minutes in the living room and then follow me in there to continue the insults and accusations...of course the girls bedrooms are at this end of the house so I am not only pissed off that walking away from him doesnt work for me but that now he will possibly be waking them up with his nonsense...I also get "why dont you sleep on the couch!" or "why dont you leave! this is my house too!" when I ask him to leave me alone for awhile...his parents live closeby, my family is on the other side of the country, so he's got the option, I dont. I'm just so fed up with this crap and feel like I seriously have nowhere to escape! Thought about putting a lock on our bedroom door, but think that might just make it worse...FML...I am mostly just venting...I know that I need to take some steps to change this situation but I've only just started to realize there is a big problem here so thank you for bearing with me!
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:04 AM
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I think it's great that you're venting, and doing it in writing.
Because when I hit emotional points where I started telling myself "well, it isn't really that bad" and "at least he isn't hitting me (yet)", it was good to be able to go back and remind myself what exactly my private hell looks like.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:06 AM
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Location: Upstate NY
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I'm sorry that you are dealing with that stressful situation. I recall feeling trapped and isolated when AH would go on his verbal tirades - and then switch to sitting in the middle of the family room in a silent pout. I worked hard to make a little place for me to go when I just needed a break and couldn't actually leave the house (that's the case when it's late at night, the kids are sleeping and he's drunk).

Sometimes it was in the basement where I pretending to be sorting through junk. Or in the laundry room scrubbing socks. I did whatever I could to preoccupy my mind/self to detach from the situation.

As I detached, I stopped reacting and participating in the insane arguments... and when I did that... AH gave up and walked away.

Learning detachment (which took A LONG time for me to really "get"!!) really helped me find peace/serenity no matter what is going on around me. Congratulations on the awareness... that IS PROGRESS!!!

Thanks for letting me share,
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:26 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Saltburn UK
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So hard being under the same roof-I'm into about week 7 of my partner not speaking to me-because she can't drink.
On a lighter note-have a laugh at this 60's track-your name.
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