Were not dumb!!!
 

Why is it when our alcoholic is obviously drunk, they deny it or say I only had 2 beers. Really, I am not an idiot.. Apparently he thinks he is whitty... I dont trust him, I am now questiong quite a few things.. Found evidence 2x now of cocaine use, which he denies, Once was last week.. he said he worked all day, but really didnt. Found powder with cut lines on my coffee table. I know what I found, once again I am not an idoit.... but I dont believe him. If I have caught him twice, how many tims have I been blind to it...

I am about at my witts end. At the point where I am starting to not be able to stand him... He has a really bad cough from heavy smoking and even whe he coughs I get annoyed!! I am wound up like a top, angry, ready to blow!!

His famous last workd are: if you dont like it than dont do it... Good advice, I should take it!!!

He wont leave our house, he says I need to leave with my two daughters ( 2 & 13) and son with schizophrenia. It would be much easier for him to leave. I pay half the bills, WHICH all the bills are in my name... So is there a way I can make him leave?

Anyways, I am ANGRY, EXHAUSTED, CONFUSED.. I have so many more adjectives I could add!!:react

If he's an owner of the property, you can't make him leave at this point. You would have to file for divorce and ask for temporary possession of the property, I believe. Your best bet would be to consult with an attorney to find out your rights in this situation as each state is different in these matters.

Most attorneys offer a free initial consultation. Take advantage of it.

What is obvious to us...is often NOT OBVIOUS to them. Guilt, defensive, AND impaired thinking from booze/drugs is a powerful combination.
In recent weeks, I have sat and just listened to what comes out of abf's mouth, and thought the same
HOW STUPID DOES HE THINK I AM??
And..later, he says, he does not remember what he said.
I believe that. I believe he has no comprehension of what he is saying, either at the time..or later.
It fries the brain.
Please, stay, keep posting, learning and finding solid information. The ONE thing that really got my attention is the sameness to many of the posts.
And.. what you have to do for yourself, to deal with your own emotions.

I agree w/ the others. You need to call a attorney immediately.

Your kids are in danger by being around a addict using right there in your home!

call an attorney immediately...to find out what you need to do to get him removed.

I agree 100%. And if you find evidence of drug use in your home, you can call the police and have them come and "investigate" - in fact, if there is drug use in your home with your children living there, that may be the best way to exculpate yourself.

Otherwise, your AH's conduct may bring social services into your life, or worse. Do you really think he wouldn't throw you under the bus to protect himself?

Good luck to you...

I agree with this. Don't make the same mistake I did--waiting so long and making assumptions about what you can and cannot do. I had all these preconceived notions in my head--that he would be able to take my daughter and flee to another state, for example, while I was at work (this was his usual threat) and that I wouldn't be able to do anything about it because he was her father. I was to the point where I wanted him to hit me hard enough to leave marks or break my bone or something, because that's what I thought I needed to file an RO against him. Threatening to take your child is enough to file an RO. Especially when the idiot is stupid enough to say it in front of witnesses, lol.

Anyway, seeing a lawyer gave me a whole new insight as to how the system works, and it worked for me. Good luck. It is a hard step to make yourself take, but such a relief when you do.

Sit down with an attorney, find out exactly what your rights are in your state and then follow thru.

Does he think your stupid, probably not, he just thinks that he can get away it, and, the longer you stay, the more that thought will be re-enforced.