sherby

I Left My exab 6 months ago and got a place of my own for me and my son. I have reading post here, having not contact and trying to move on with my life.
But I still have so much anger & sadness inside of me... Some days are worst than others.
I pray for my ex for me that is the only out-let I have, but when will all the hurt anger and sadness truly be gone...
Thank You all for any in-put you have.

searchbug

Sherby, I have the same question. I am WORKING on it..not doing very well with it.
If anything... here's my answer. The most valuable thing in my life is my ability to trust, and that is the greatest violation.
I probably have to accept that some persons are not worthy of trust.
I am sending you a hug...others will come along and have better advice....

Freedom1990

This is where Alanon and reading books like "Codependent No More" have helped me move past emotions like sadness and anger.

The 12 steps of Alanon have proved to be invaluable in all areas of my life.

nodaybut2day

I have found that my grief went in waves. There were times when I needed to focus on the feelings by journaling, talking to friends, posting lots on SR, etc; there were other times when I got tired of delving in the feelings and focused on distracting myself with new hobbies and activities. I started knitting again, little sewing projects, listening to new music, signed up at the gym, started dancing tango. That's not to say the bundle of feelings didn't come back; they did eventually, and I dealt with my grief when they did. Then I'd once again get sick of feeling blue and throw myself back into my activities. Little by little, the anger and sadness subsided.

Give it time, and give it love.

marie1960

I understand this is a painful time. The anger and sadness are all part of the grieving process. They are also part of the healing process. I had to embrace the "ugly" days in order to heal and move forward.

I was clueless regarding this disease. Part of the reason I was hurting was because I did not understand what being an alcoholic meant.

Learning as much as I could about addiction, and alcoholism, filled me with a sense of peace. It brought a sense of closure to a relationship that I had once treasured.
It confirmed any doubt I had regarding the break-up.

Sherby, it will get better it just takes time. I know it had to take alot of courage to leave your home and build a new life for your son and you. May peace and love fill your new home.

Sending you good thoughts, take care.

LifeRecovery

I am a little over a year from leaving my husband.

I am having a similar experience to what noday wrote about.

I worked my recovery hard on addiction and alcohol topics, but on the up and down of everything I found that learning about the Grief Cycle based on teh work of Kubler-Ross helped me.

It helped to normalize what I was and still am feeling.

I went through the denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and am loping around again (except without the denial component). I have not yet had a lot of acceptance but have hope that will come. The extremes are less for me now, but they still exist.

Willybluedog

I battle daily with the anger I have at my mom (a 40 year alcoholic), she screwed my dads life up so much, he has always been crazy in love with her, while she has seen nothing but stability and a paycheck.

When it ends is up to you, some anger I cannot let go of, other things faded fast, I still have enormous hate for my ex wife for cheating on me and stealing most of our asssets, I enjoy hating her so I don't work on getting past it.

marie1960

Oh willy, Holding a grudge allows someone to live rent free in your head........

I understand what you are saying, but I hope in due time you can replace those feelings with thoughts that are of benefit, and thoughts that add joy to your life. All my best to you..