Getting Better!!!

Old 09-23-2011, 02:20 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: KY
Posts: 38
Smile Getting Better!!!

I'm getting better! The divorce is in motion, found another bottle when packing his stuff up... reminder I am doing the right thing!

Just a little scared. Scared of being 33, no kids, no marriage. Scared I might get left with the credit card debt he ran up in MY name! However, I do know being alone has to be a hell of a lot better then being married to an AH.

I keep going over my blessings! Great friends and family, great job, house I can pay all the bills, great dogs, and trying to keep the hope of a great marriage and life to come!

So glad I did not let my selfish side of wanting kids so bad to give in and try with my STBXAH!

I know I am blessed, guess I just had to write it to keep believeing it!
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:38 PM
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Way to go!
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:14 PM
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Young, free, single - and SMART. You have such a bright and shiny future. Good for you!!

Anvil has me dancing now.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:15 PM
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I'm no angel!
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Ok, way to go!
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:23 PM
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thank you for this post! i've got serious baby-fever right now, and since i'm 31 and divorced, i'm starting to hear my biological clock tick-tock. xab and i talked A LOT about having kids together, and i've felt my hope of ever raising a family slipping away since we broke up. it is crazy hard to not get a bit depressed when it seems like all of my friends are pregnant or have new babies, but i know that i do NOT want to subject any future children to life with an alcoholic.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:57 PM
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Thanks to those posting in their 30s about some of their having kid anxiety.

I also started the divorce process at 33, a little over a year ago, and will be 35 on 11/11/11 (I am so excited by the date that I just have to put it everywhere).

I had made the decision of no kids in my marriage due to my concerns of kiddos with untreated alcoholism.

I was at peace with the decision to not have kids with him....until it all kind of exploded with him.

Now it can be one more thing I can make myself crazy about. I try to turn it over, and know it will work out how it is suppose to, but I do have some significant panic about it at times.

In other words it can bring up a lot of emotion for me, and I have not even actually decided if I want kids.

I do such a good job of winding myself up (hee hee).
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
baby, all you're missing is a theme song! 33, almost divorced, wiser and sage? let's travel back to 1985 for a little YOUNG FREE AND SINGLE, shall we?

Boney M."Young Free And Single" - YouTube

sorry, my inner diva can't help herself sometimes!

How about a little George Michael unplugged with an appropo song?

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Old 09-23-2011, 06:57 PM
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I am so glad that I am not the only one who has theme songs. Yours are awesome, and I might have to borrow them.
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Old 09-23-2011, 08:04 PM
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I'm 34 and had decided not to reproduce with the XAH.
My divorce was final about a year ago, and life is very, very good.

Actually, in coming to the realization that I didn't want to have children with *him*... I realized that I didn't even know if I wanted children. And did a lot of reflecting. And ultimately decided that I'm happier without and have embraced my childfree life. (And the man I'm slowly becoming involved with thinks along the same lines.)

I think the first realization was trying to buy something for a baby shower for a friend, and I nearly had a meltdown at Babies-R-Us. After that, I vowed I wasn't going back. Since then, when I've been invited to baby showers (for my staff or colleagues), I write a check to help cover the party food and gracefully decline.

Personally, I love Gloria Gaynor... this has been my theme song since college. if only I could figure out how to put in the
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Old 09-24-2011, 01:23 AM
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As a footnote, you still have PLENTY of time for children - I had my 3rd child at 42! Who knows what the next decade holds for you? Great times may be just around the corner. Hugs to you.
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Old 09-24-2011, 09:09 AM
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Flip side of the coin....

I'm 35, with a 5 yr old and 3 yr old... And divorcing my AH. Gonna be a divorced mom of two... Starting over. But... That's far better than staying put with AH.

There is a wonderful man waiting out there for you.... Be patient, heal yourself, love yourself... And never doubt your self-worth... And you'll find him!!
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