BenRadBel

I'm getting better! The divorce is in motion, found another bottle when packing his stuff up... reminder I am doing the right thing!

Just a little scared. Scared of being 33, no kids, no marriage. Scared I might get left with the credit card debt he ran up in MY name! However, I do know being alone has to be a hell of a lot better then being married to an AH.

I keep going over my blessings! Great friends and family, great job, house I can pay all the bills, great dogs, and trying to keep the hope of a great marriage and life to come!

So glad I did not let my selfish side of wanting kids so bad to give in and try with my STBXAH!

I know I am blessed, guess I just had to write it to keep believeing it!

m1k3

Way to go!

Thumper

Young, free, single - and SMART. You have such a bright and shiny future. Good for you!!

Anvil has me dancing now.

dollydo

Ok, way to go!

shawty80

thank you for this post! i've got serious baby-fever right now, and since i'm 31 and divorced, i'm starting to hear my biological clock tick-tock. xab and i talked A LOT about having kids together, and i've felt my hope of ever raising a family slipping away since we broke up. it is crazy hard to not get a bit depressed when it seems like all of my friends are pregnant or have new babies, but i know that i do NOT want to subject any future children to life with an alcoholic.

LifeRecovery

Thanks to those posting in their 30s about some of their having kid anxiety.

I also started the divorce process at 33, a little over a year ago, and will be 35 on 11/11/11 (I am so excited by the date that I just have to put it everywhere).

I had made the decision of no kids in my marriage due to my concerns of kiddos with untreated alcoholism.

I was at peace with the decision to not have kids with him....until it all kind of exploded with him.

Now it can be one more thing I can make myself crazy about. I try to turn it over, and know it will work out how it is suppose to, but I do have some significant panic about it at times.

In other words it can bring up a lot of emotion for me, and I have not even actually decided if I want kids.

I do such a good job of winding myself up (hee hee).

Freedom1990

How about a little George Michael unplugged with an appropo song?

LifeRecovery

I am so glad that I am not the only one who has theme songs. Yours are awesome, and I might have to borrow them.

DMC

I'm 34 and had decided not to reproduce with the XAH.
My divorce was final about a year ago, and life is very, very good.

Actually, in coming to the realization that I didn't want to have children with *him*... I realized that I didn't even know if I wanted children. And did a lot of reflecting. And ultimately decided that I'm happier without and have embraced my childfree life. (And the man I'm slowly becoming involved with thinks along the same lines.)

I think the first realization was trying to buy something for a baby shower for a friend, and I nearly had a meltdown at Babies-R-Us. After that, I vowed I wasn't going back. Since then, when I've been invited to baby showers (for my staff or colleagues), I write a check to help cover the party food and gracefully decline.

Personally, I love Gloria Gaynor... this has been my theme song since college. if only I could figure out how to put in the clip...hm...

http://youtu.be/ZBR2G-iI3-I

megan09

As a footnote, you still have PLENTY of time for children - I had my 3rd child at 42! Who knows what the next decade holds for you? Great times may be just around the corner. Hugs to you.

GettingBy

Flip side of the coin....

I'm 35, with a 5 yr old and 3 yr old... And divorcing my AH. Gonna be a divorced mom of two... Starting over. But... That's far better than staying put with AH.

There is a wonderful man waiting out there for you.... Be patient, heal yourself, love yourself... And never doubt your self-worth... And you'll find him!!