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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Checking in!
It has been a crazy few months. Teenager is back in my home, and STBXAH is freaking out because of it.
Started on Sunday, I get a text from my son asking me if I had heard from his father. He had just returned his brothers to me after the weekend's visitation, not mentioning anything about oldest. Then he tells me his father and him got into an argument and he told DS that he's living with me now. Awhile later he texted him again and said he was just kidding, but DS does know better than to believe his crap.
But then the next day, when I drive to the old town to pick up DS(he stayed with a friend)and his belongings, ex was texting me that DS was out of control, needs to be with him, etc. After some conversations with DS I found out that ex has been using him more or less as slave labor, hasn't been keeping the house clean(evidenced by the clothes DS put in my vehicle, they reeked of animal urine) even though ex is currently not working(long story about that, not due to his drinking however) and even though I had been told that DS would be taking online classes for high school, he was never enrolled in that. So now I'm basically going to be doing homeschool GED preparation, he turns 16 in December and he will be starting GED classes then.
I then decided it was time to put my foot down and tell ex that he didn't get to have weekends with the other two children until he can prove to me that the house is clean(no court order, and AFAIK he has stopped drinking)
Well, me telling him that has resulted in 3 days worth of text tantrums. Not that I'm surprised.
personal front, I was forced to quit my job(last night is tonight) because of childcare issues. It is near impossible to find evening, part-time daycare that takes child care assistance. I went thru a few babysitters, relatives, etc. Basically, I had no one left that I could find to babysit. since the situation with 15yo is still very tenuous I didn't want to utilize him on a regular basis either, plus he does have a job that requires 10 hour days(can only work 2 days a week due to his age) and he wants to keep the job. I had already had to call in a few shifts due to my lack of childcare, and I decided that it was time to leave voluntarily before I was fired. I am leaving on good terms however.
I have been applying for jobs since before I quit, luckily my area is a big call center area, so I'm probably going to end up at one of them(going into one of the agencies that hires for many of the call centers on Monday) I can get by with a low wage due to my careful planning with the apartment, some government help, etc.
Started on Sunday, I get a text from my son asking me if I had heard from his father. He had just returned his brothers to me after the weekend's visitation, not mentioning anything about oldest. Then he tells me his father and him got into an argument and he told DS that he's living with me now. Awhile later he texted him again and said he was just kidding, but DS does know better than to believe his crap.
But then the next day, when I drive to the old town to pick up DS(he stayed with a friend)and his belongings, ex was texting me that DS was out of control, needs to be with him, etc. After some conversations with DS I found out that ex has been using him more or less as slave labor, hasn't been keeping the house clean(evidenced by the clothes DS put in my vehicle, they reeked of animal urine) even though ex is currently not working(long story about that, not due to his drinking however) and even though I had been told that DS would be taking online classes for high school, he was never enrolled in that. So now I'm basically going to be doing homeschool GED preparation, he turns 16 in December and he will be starting GED classes then.
I then decided it was time to put my foot down and tell ex that he didn't get to have weekends with the other two children until he can prove to me that the house is clean(no court order, and AFAIK he has stopped drinking)
Well, me telling him that has resulted in 3 days worth of text tantrums. Not that I'm surprised.
personal front, I was forced to quit my job(last night is tonight) because of childcare issues. It is near impossible to find evening, part-time daycare that takes child care assistance. I went thru a few babysitters, relatives, etc. Basically, I had no one left that I could find to babysit. since the situation with 15yo is still very tenuous I didn't want to utilize him on a regular basis either, plus he does have a job that requires 10 hour days(can only work 2 days a week due to his age) and he wants to keep the job. I had already had to call in a few shifts due to my lack of childcare, and I decided that it was time to leave voluntarily before I was fired. I am leaving on good terms however.
I have been applying for jobs since before I quit, luckily my area is a big call center area, so I'm probably going to end up at one of them(going into one of the agencies that hires for many of the call centers on Monday) I can get by with a low wage due to my careful planning with the apartment, some government help, etc.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
((((Pixie)))) I'm so glad you stopped by! I hope that something even better will turn up on the job front. Gosh those childcare issues are just so hard. How old are your younger kids again? Other than that....how are YOU?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
I'm doing okay, I am having trouble sleeping, or at least sleeping thru the night.
I thought I was doing better as far as the ex went, but his big tantrum the other night set me off a bit. I was scared he was going to show up at my apartment. He didn't, but I still have that fear, because I know he is that unstable right now. He is supposedly dry, but his PTSD is becoming worse and worse from what I've seen and heard. He keeps at me to file for divorce, but I don't have the money to pay to have the papers served. And honestly, I'm a little scared about what he'll be like once he actually receives papers. For whatever reason, he won't do it himself. He says he's moved on, which means he found an even bigger codie than myself. Poor girl.
The job front should be okay, luckily I am in an area with low unemployment. It's just a matter of finding something that will work best for me, as far as hours go, and finding proper child care(and one that will take assistance) Payrate isn't as big of a deal, I can go as low as $8 an hour as long as I get 30 hours a week. Yes I am living that simply, it's rather freeing in a way, to know I only have to pay rent, electricity and vehicle insurance plus gas and my portion of my sister's cell phone bill(only $10 a month) The younger two kids are 3 and 9. And the 3 year old isn't quite potty trained, so he can't go to head start yet.
I have filed for child support, because I can't even get him to take the kids to Walmart to buy socks and underwear(that request resulted in a tantrum too) so now it's just a matter of time on that front.
I thought I was doing better as far as the ex went, but his big tantrum the other night set me off a bit. I was scared he was going to show up at my apartment. He didn't, but I still have that fear, because I know he is that unstable right now. He is supposedly dry, but his PTSD is becoming worse and worse from what I've seen and heard. He keeps at me to file for divorce, but I don't have the money to pay to have the papers served. And honestly, I'm a little scared about what he'll be like once he actually receives papers. For whatever reason, he won't do it himself. He says he's moved on, which means he found an even bigger codie than myself. Poor girl.
The job front should be okay, luckily I am in an area with low unemployment. It's just a matter of finding something that will work best for me, as far as hours go, and finding proper child care(and one that will take assistance) Payrate isn't as big of a deal, I can go as low as $8 an hour as long as I get 30 hours a week. Yes I am living that simply, it's rather freeing in a way, to know I only have to pay rent, electricity and vehicle insurance plus gas and my portion of my sister's cell phone bill(only $10 a month) The younger two kids are 3 and 9. And the 3 year old isn't quite potty trained, so he can't go to head start yet.
I have filed for child support, because I can't even get him to take the kids to Walmart to buy socks and underwear(that request resulted in a tantrum too) so now it's just a matter of time on that front.
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