Husband getting better...and NOW I'm mad and hurt
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Hi Kitty (from another Kitty). You may have a hard time getting to al-anon but there is a great book out there you can read that may help you with detaching, enabling behaviors, letting go of resentments and getting your serenity back.
It's called Co-dependent No More by Melanie Beattie.
I hope you get a copy. I think it will be so helpful for you.
It's called Co-dependent No More by Melanie Beattie.
I hope you get a copy. I think it will be so helpful for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 447
Alnon.
My husband didn't go to rehab but went directly to AA and did over 90 meetings in 90 days and has not relapsed since the begining. He is at just over a year. I'm really proud of him but it was far from easy. I don't know what to tell you except that alnon really will help you. someone said last week to a newcomer that we don't know exactly how it works or why it works but alnon does work and we do become healthier people whether our qualifier is drinking or in recovery. I agree.
Someone asked me why my husband hasn't relapsed...while her's is in and out of the program and it's making her nuts...worse than when he drank all the time and I couldn't answer that. Still can't. But can say that it doesn't matter whether it's one drink or 12 I'll be just as gone.
I've decided that is not an option for me. I refuse to live like that ever again. Once you have a spouse who has been in recover it still isn't easy, you have a new set of problems but it's still better than before. Mine knows that one drink and it's all over for us. I know that isn't the only reason but it's a big one. But like everything else you have to decide what is okay for you and your family. No one can tell you what you need to do but we will try to steer you to the place that you can be safe and figure out where your boundaries are in your relationship and that's Alnon.
Good luck.
My husband didn't go to rehab but went directly to AA and did over 90 meetings in 90 days and has not relapsed since the begining. He is at just over a year. I'm really proud of him but it was far from easy. I don't know what to tell you except that alnon really will help you. someone said last week to a newcomer that we don't know exactly how it works or why it works but alnon does work and we do become healthier people whether our qualifier is drinking or in recovery. I agree.
Someone asked me why my husband hasn't relapsed...while her's is in and out of the program and it's making her nuts...worse than when he drank all the time and I couldn't answer that. Still can't. But can say that it doesn't matter whether it's one drink or 12 I'll be just as gone.
I've decided that is not an option for me. I refuse to live like that ever again. Once you have a spouse who has been in recover it still isn't easy, you have a new set of problems but it's still better than before. Mine knows that one drink and it's all over for us. I know that isn't the only reason but it's a big one. But like everything else you have to decide what is okay for you and your family. No one can tell you what you need to do but we will try to steer you to the place that you can be safe and figure out where your boundaries are in your relationship and that's Alnon.
Good luck.
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