caughthiminject

since being with an A, every time i see a beer or a bottle of any kind of alcohol, i cringe. i look at people who are tipsy and just think they look like idiots, even when they aren't alcoholics. i can't even look at normal drinkers without feeling a bit disgusted. i see how much pain my A has caused his entire family, himself and me -- and i read the stories of all the pain here. why is it even legal? you can't smoke cigarettes in restaurants anymore - but at least a cigarette never made anyone violent or black out.

Justfor1

That is a good question. I am a recovering A and have a history of drug use also. Interestingly enough, alcohol has caused me the most legal trouble and probably physical problems. I guess it's legal because 90% of drinkers can handle it? Because alcohol is legal it takes longer for an alcoholic to hit a bottom than a drug addict. Alcohol is also very cheap and an alcoholic will always, always find a way to buy a six pack at the store.

Carol Star

Yes. Alcohol is a solvent. It takes everything AWAY. I have read though 1 in 10 has the predisposition for abusing it.

simian66

Just look at the immediate effects. It makes people talk a lot of crap, slur their words, find it difficult to walk, fall over, hurt themselves, vomit, or get extremely violent.

If it were sold in pill form, I imagine it would be illegal.

suki44883

We've had this discussion here a few times in the past. The thing is, most people don't have a problem with alcohol. I, for one, don't want the government telling me what I can and cannot drink or eat. Once we start down that slippery slope, we're in big trouble.

Terminally Unique

Ironically, the disease theory of alcoholism shields the liquor industry from any regulation. If alcohol is but a symptom, then alcohol is not the cause, and is off limits. The liquor industry loves the disease theory, and has long helped to fund its promotion. When is the last time you saw an advertisement on TV for cigarettes? 1971? That's because there is no disease of nicotine-ism to shield the tobacco companies from regulation.

That said, outright prohibition would be a disaster, much like before. For a very nice history of prohibition, I recommend the book "Last Call: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition" by Daniel Okrent.

Charon

As an alcoholic I would absolutely love to not be able to buy alcohol legally. I wouldn't think of buying illegal drugs (I'm 64, us old f-rts mostly won't risk it). It would be so easy if I just couldn't easily get alcohol. The problem is that it wouldn't be fair to the 90% who can drink safely. My alcoholism isn't their problem - I have to own it. I once tried asking clerks not to sell to me anymore. You can guess how well that worked. Even a guy whose father died of the disease wouldn't refuse me. I can't ask or try to require anyone to do this for me.

Right now I'm taking Naltrexone. It's supposed to cut the cravings and it does. It also makes me feel ill enough that the last thing I would want is a drink. Drastic, but worth it. I'm sure I'll get used to the med and the ill feeling will fade. It started out as an all day thing but now has come down to an hour or two in the morning. And to be honest it doesn't make me feel anywhere near as bad as I do the day after a binge.

Thanks to all you out there. Writing this has been good for me. Put me in a good place to face the day. Thanks to the OP.

wanttobehealthy

I had an eating disorder for many years and wished that I could just make life exist without food so that I wouldn't have a problem. I thought that the solution was "let's just have a world where food isn't necessary to live, I won't ever have to eat and all will be okay".

When I hear conversation about how alcohol should be illegal I kind of am reminded of my own logic back in the day and how I was making food the tangible object that represented the problem when really it wasn't.

I don't think that alcohol should be illegal bc there are plenty of people who can enjoy it responsibly and have no issue with it. I think that wanting it to be illegal is really akin to my wishing food didn't exist. It's a way of saying "if it's not around, then I'll be okay" and that's a sign that there is a lot of work left to do.

Just my 2 cents.

LaTeeDa

Take a look over on the F&F of Substance Abusers forum. Notice how pot, crack, meth and herion being illegal makes such a difference........NOT. I believe part of the problem with the US today is that we think passing laws = solving problems. It doesn't.

L

Justfor1

I don't think it would be fair for social drinkers. I believe that drinking 2 glasses of wine a day is healthy? I think they should ban the selling of cheap malt liquor that alcoholics tend to enjoy. Some cost only $1.50 for a 24ounces can with alcohol contents of 11%. Of course real alcoholics would just turn to mouthwash & other household products that contain booze if prohibition was brought back.

Thumper

I get where you are coming from with seeing people drink. I drink. I don't mind people drinking socially. I no longer like to see people over-drink for the occasion and I don't really like being around people that always seem to have a beer in their hand even if they don't appear to be over-drinking. That one leaves me uneasy since it is to close to home. I find I choose my social situations or friends more thoughtfully now.

I don't think making it illegal is the answer though. It isn't like there aren't plenty of people addicted to illegal drugs. Even prescription drugs that are legal but monitored are abused regularly and people become addicted.

simian66

I see the original title of this posting as being an indication of the effect of being on the receiving end of another persons addiction. Statements like this are made out of desperation. I've felt like this at times myself. I'm not a person who thinks making a substance illegal is going to solve matters. Perhaps talking about addiction and education is what is needed.

caughthiminject

I'm not sure it can be correlated to food - as you need food to live. Alcohol has no value. The studies on it being good for the heart have been refuted recently by another study that says any amount of drink causes cancer.

Yes, it can loosen you up for a good time as a social drinker. But adaptive social skills can also do that. I guess I am one of those strange people who can't understand because I was born missing the enzyme to break down alcohol and therefore I do not enjoy alcohol and don't get drunk. So I do apologize to those normal social drinkers and I understand your comments about not wanting alcohol regulated by government. I just haven't seen alcohol do anyone any favors.

I feel like I have some kind of PTSD or something though. I just hear a bottle being opened and I feel sick. As for drugs being illegal and people still get them - yes. But there are a lot fewer people doing them than would be if they were legal. I used to think yeah, make them legal so all those stupid people can kill themselves. The only problem is they take down everyone who loves them and everyone in the front line of their car. I was at Movie World in Australia and there was a needle box in the toilet. There's one in every toilet in Australia and even in the toilets on airplanes. How sick would you have to be that you are shooting up in freaking Movie World and Sea World.

I guess it's all a matter of opinion. My A was better off on pot sleeping and eating, than on beer driving and acting like an idiot all night and blacking out and not knowing where he had been or what he had done. I think I'd have rather pot was legal and beer not. Of course beer was just the gateway to the rest of the drugs... which, if they were legal, he would be dead by now, and maybe I'd be a lot less sad.

LaTeeDa

I saw a comedian a couple of weeks ago and he was talking about the right-wing religious people who somehow equate legalizing gay marriage with bestiality. He said "the reasons I don't have sex with my dog have nothing to do with the law!"

Making alcohol illegal will not decrease the number of alcoholics. It will increase the number of "criminals." The US already has the highest per-capita prison population on the planet. Even if we could afford to have "alcoholic prisons," is that really what we want?

L

wanttobehealthy

I wasn't really comparing the two as much as I was comparing the wish that any object that causes trouble for a person would disappear in hopes that if that object disappeared it would solve the problem.

Even if your SO weren't using a substance I imagine his behavior would still be a problem.

Legal or not, alcohol isn't the problem. His mind, thinking, behavior etc.. is.

caughthiminject

I agree. He's definitely got issues!

I guess I wish I could understand. I just have no pleasurable feeling towards alcohol or anything of that sort that I have tried in my young years. There's simply no reaction whatsoever. I actually physically cannot get drunk or buzzed. I am often told that people feel sorry for me because I don't drink, or that they need to drink to have a good time and would die if they were me. It's a strange concept to me. I have a great time when I go out. I carry around a beer bottle and pour it into the bushes when no one is looking, to be social, because it makes other people uncomfortable when I don't drink. How strange is that? A whole society based around this thing everywhere you go. I find it fascinating.

wanttobehealthy

I'll say this; in addition to what I wrote earlier, I do get that visceral reaction to seeing alcohol everywhere.

I've changed the pharmacy I go to bc the one I used to go to constantly has huge stacks of Bud and Coors right inside the front doors and I found that I'd walk in, instantly get tense and upset and then remain that way even after I left. Those are AH's beers of choice and when I see beer cans I get a sick feeling (and I'm talking seeing beer cans on the side of the road, thrown in the woods where I run etc...) not just beer cans I'd find in my house.

So, I do get what you're saying. My T tells me that my reaction isn't abnormal given what life with my AH has been like-- he says it's like a PTSD type reaction and I guess that makes sense...

lillamy

I think we need to realize, as people affected by the negative fallout of somebody else's drinking, that our problem with alcohol is our problem.

That whenever I'm triggered by someone else's drinking, or the presence of alcohol at a function, I have an opportunity to take another step in my recovery.

Since I left AXH, I've gone from being a "mediterranean-style drinker" as one of my friends calls it -- having a glass of wine with dinner now and again -- to just not really caring for alcoholic beverages. It's not that I've taken a hard decision that "it's something I don't care to have in my life anymore" -- it's just that it's something I don't want to spend money on and that most of the time doesn't appeal to me that much.

But it took me a year to get to that point. It took me a full year before ALCOHOL was this big huge elephant in the room that I felt I had to define my relationship to somehow. I'm not by any means saying "I'm over that and alcohol is no different than ice cream or cake to me" -- it's still something that triggers me, but less and less.

And I know that if it hadn't been alcohol for my AXH, it would have been something else. And if alcohol had been illegal, he would have been a criminal in addition to an alcoholic.

TeM

I was an occasional drinker before my AW developed her problem. I enjoyed a good cold beer in hot weather, or a Bloody Mary at a restaurant. I've only been tipsy once, and I hated the feeling, so I've never been one to drink a lot.

After dealing with AW's alcoholism, I've given it up entirely. It has absolutely no appeal for me any more.

That being said, I don't think it should be outlawed; they tried that once, and it just made things worse.

gerryP

I agree, "Alcohol is not the problem". The problem is what causes anyone to need to numb out, check out from their reality. Drinking can start out as fun, but when it becomes a medicine to cope and sometimes be vertical in the morning.....

Often the real "problem" is never addressed and if the real problem is not addressed, the medicine taking never ends. May I say it one more time please. Alcohol "is not the problem". As such making alcohol illegal will not solve the problem of alcohol abuse and dependency. Prohibition didn't work in the 1920, it just drove it's manufacture and sale underground.