I'm new to this..

Old 09-14-2011, 11:49 AM
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Depressed
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Unhappy I'm new to this..

I'm so tired of the way my mother acts when she drinks, It's so stressful and when she fights with me she doesn't see reason, she assumes things like i'm lying or something, shes verbally abusive, She used to just drink in evenings, but
today I was woken up at 8 in the morning by her drunk-ass screaming at me over some stupid little thing I forgot to do ONCE, And she tried to start a fight with me nearly every time she drinks and she tries to turn every small thing into drama.. even though her arguments are illogical, or wrong, she wont apologize for it or admit fault.. I already have depression, and with my mother like this, my depression only gets worse, I love my mom, and i hate to see her do this kind of thing to herself, she used to be such a happy person, now that she drinks shes become a total abusive jerk. I can't reason with someone who is like that, All I can do is just let her believe whatever crazy thing she decides to believe and then deal with it. I miss my mom, I miss the way things used to be. It hurts to have the person you love be so mean. I'm new to the whole alcoholism thing, and I don't know how to cope. =\

I just need some support.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:58 AM
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I am running out hte door but will write more later.

I have been in a similar place but with a different loved one.

Have you tried Al-anon, they really helped me.
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:11 PM
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Hi Allegory and to SR. I'm glad you found us and I hope you stick around. It's a wonderful place to find support.

I don't know how old you are, but have you considered going to al-ateen or al-anon meetings to get some face to face support? There are lots of other people going through the same stuff you are; it might help to hear their stories and share a part of yours.

Also, is there a way for you to not live with your mother?
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:12 PM
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Al-anon? whats that? Is it like AA? Um, No program or anything will work, so far she isn't willing to admit weakness or do something about her problem, shes been saying shes going to quit for nearly a year now and still hasn't. So I don't know at this point, she says that if she is going to quit, shes going to quit without the help of any kind of AA or whatever.
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:16 PM
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Depressed
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Unhappy

Originally Posted by nodaybut2day View Post
Hi Allegory and to SR. I'm glad you found us and I hope you stick around. It's a wonderful place to find support.

I don't know how old you are, but have you considered going to al-ateen or al-anon meetings to get some face to face support? There are lots of other people going through the same stuff you are; it might help to hear their stories and share a part of yours.

Also, is there a way for you to not live with your mother?
I recently turned 18, I have no friends and no money, there is no way for me to "not live here" If I was to move out i'd be homeless.
Where do they have these Al-anon meetings?
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:20 PM
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Alright, well I just did myself a favor and looked up Al-anon and found out that the only meeting thing is like on the other side of my state, I don't think that it's going to be possible for me to pull that off.
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Old 09-14-2011, 01:44 PM
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Oh I am really sorry that you are in this situation. I just stumbled here recently myself so I don't have words of wisdom but I can offer my sincere support.
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Old 09-14-2011, 02:45 PM
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Hello and Welcome.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is tough dealing with a loved one who is an alcoholic, let alone living with them in their active addiction. SR has been a huge help in dealing with my emotions in coping with my situation. I understand that you cannot get to an Al-anon meeting due to the geographical location. They do have some podcasts, and I believe they also have some virtual meetings held electronically through email or telephone.

You did not cause your mom’s alcoholism, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. Al-anon will help you understand what you can control, and how to detach with love from the alcoholic to shield yourself from the emotional rollercoaster. No matter how many times you engage in an argument you will always be seen as “wrong” in the eyes of the alcoholic. You will drive yourself crazy trying to reason with her. No matter how much begging you do to get her to stop it won’t do any good until she is ready to stop. The only thing you can control is you. Poke around the other threads; there is some good information here.

Do you go to school? Do you have a councilor at school? Can you locate a councilor/therapist that you can attend? You would greatly benefit with some one-on-one support to help you sort out those jumbled emotions.

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this, but know that you are not doing it alone.
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Old 09-14-2011, 03:16 PM
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Red face

Originally Posted by MTSlideAddict View Post
Hello and Welcome.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is tough dealing with a loved one who is an alcoholic, let alone living with them in their active addiction. SR has been a huge help in dealing with my emotions in coping with my situation. I understand that you cannot get to an Al-anon meeting due to the geographical location. They do have some podcasts, and I believe they also have some virtual meetings held electronically through email or telephone.

You did not cause your mom’s alcoholism, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. Al-anon will help you understand what you can control, and how to detach with love from the alcoholic to shield yourself from the emotional rollercoaster. No matter how many times you engage in an argument you will always be seen as “wrong” in the eyes of the alcoholic. You will drive yourself crazy trying to reason with her. No matter how much begging you do to get her to stop it won’t do any good until she is ready to stop. The only thing you can control is you. Poke around the other threads; there is some good information here.

Do you go to school? Do you have a councilor at school? Can you locate a councilor/therapist that you can attend? You would greatly benefit with some one-on-one support to help you sort out those jumbled emotions.

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this, but know that you are not doing it alone.

Thank you so much, You've been really helpful to me. I'm actually in counselling for depression/anxiety, I'm going to look into asking my counselor on ways I can deal with this. Thank you again for your understanding and support. This seems like a really nice place. =]
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Allegory View Post
Thank you so much, You've been really helpful to me. I'm actually in counselling for depression/anxiety, I'm going to look into asking my counselor on ways I can deal with this. Thank you again for your understanding and support. This seems like a really nice place. =]
Counseling has been a Godsend to me for depression/anxiety. I'm glad you have a place to talk about those things.

You might also want to see about getting your hands on a copy of "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

The alcoholic/addict in my life is my 33-year-old daughter, and the book was a real eye-opener for me.

I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends hon!
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