The weirdness of almost-normal
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 42
The weirdness of almost-normal
Has anyone else experienced those bizarre "almost normal" times in between the crises when you are breaking up?
In between incredibly painful conversations, finally trying to tell the whole truth, my AH and I are also doing some of the old routine things together - household chores, for instance - and then an eerie calm descends and it almost feels as if nothing had changed, except it has, completely, irreversibly, and it makes me feel almost dizzy that I can still speak and move and act so "normal" after that change...
Anyone else?
In between incredibly painful conversations, finally trying to tell the whole truth, my AH and I are also doing some of the old routine things together - household chores, for instance - and then an eerie calm descends and it almost feels as if nothing had changed, except it has, completely, irreversibly, and it makes me feel almost dizzy that I can still speak and move and act so "normal" after that change...
Anyone else?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
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Oh yes, and for me some of those things were so hard.
It was part of what kept me hooked on my loved one.
Those are some of the hardest times for me to work through actually.
Please do something loving and kind for yourself (in addition to Al-anon).
It was part of what kept me hooked on my loved one.
Those are some of the hardest times for me to work through actually.
Please do something loving and kind for yourself (in addition to Al-anon).
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
You describe that so so so well astolfo and it helps me to read that others struggle with this too.
It was always after the worst of times that there'd be this calm, cooperation, helpfulness from AH and between us and I'd be so confused about why it was I was upset and considering leaving. And of course that's part of the game. They know they screwed up, they are on their best behavior for a brief time, you let your guard down and believe it might be like this all the time and then WHAM it starts all over again.
And like LifeRecovery said those things were some of and are some of the hardest to sort through bc those times showed me that AH IS capable of being considerate, helpful, etc... It made it that much more complicated to understand how he could go from that person to the selfish, lazy, mean, victim who would have had me believe I was nuts for wanting "more"...
It was always after the worst of times that there'd be this calm, cooperation, helpfulness from AH and between us and I'd be so confused about why it was I was upset and considering leaving. And of course that's part of the game. They know they screwed up, they are on their best behavior for a brief time, you let your guard down and believe it might be like this all the time and then WHAM it starts all over again.
And like LifeRecovery said those things were some of and are some of the hardest to sort through bc those times showed me that AH IS capable of being considerate, helpful, etc... It made it that much more complicated to understand how he could go from that person to the selfish, lazy, mean, victim who would have had me believe I was nuts for wanting "more"...
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