seek

I woke up this morning and notice that the little black case to my FlipCam was lying flat on my dresser . . . upon further inspection, I notice the FlipCam is gone. I have been searching all over my house and in my car for hours and hours . . .trying to think back to the last time I used it - trying to remember when I last saw it.

My alcoholic daughter was in my house, alone last weekend - I had told her where the key was so she could put her dog inside.

When I returned home, the front door was slightly ajar (she did not close it all of the way) and the house key was in the house - I has asked her to put it back where she found it.

So she had the run of the house for awhile . . . I would have never suspected her of stealing anything of mine before, but now I do and it is a terrible feeling.

I get upset anyway whenever I lose something - takes me awhile to let go . . .and this was something I treasured and was valuable to me.

I texted her and said, "Where is my FlipCam?" and she has not responded (didn't expect her to, she is not responding to me at the moment because I wrote her a letter after her drunken escapade telling her she looks really bad and I hope she gets help).

I am just sick over this - obviously, I need to process this and let go. I hate "unsolved mysteries" - and I hate that she is able to do any damn thing she wants, with seemingly, no repercussions.

I should not have allowed her to let her dog in my house, but I thought she was in recovery and I thought I could trust her in my house. I was in denial about the extent of her alcoholism . . .

I still do not really know if she took it or if someone else took it or if I might have lost it (the last is doubtful, but is it is possible) . . .

I hate this feeling . . .it just feels really like a sick feeling.

I called one of my children to discuss this - this particular grown child has very firm boundaries and does not want to talk about the "problem child" and I respect that. No one else was available, though. It was good because she got to tell me her specific issue about boundaries and I got to tell her how I feel about not having support. We are going to go to therapy together in the future.

But in the meantime, I feel sick. I guess it is time for prayer.

Freedom1990

If it wasn't bolted down in my house, it was gone thanks to my AD.

She is no longer welcome in my home.

Today she texted me that she might be moving back to the town where I live.

She still won't be welcome in my home. It's just that simple.

seek

My entire day has been spent looking for this item. I know that is a choice I made and am just noting it. I am very angry and a little obsessed, just wanting to find the thing.

I am thinking back at some other issues having to do with this daughter and trust/betrayal . . . I was not involved enough in her life to know that the problem was alcoholism, I just thought she was extremely mean, selfish, and hateful . . .so this incident is a trigger for a lot of other stuff . . .

I do tend to go in and out of denial because I always want to believe the best of people, especially my kids and I thought she was in recovery.

I guess I will have to work on myself to let go of this anger and resentment and frustration that is aimed towards her . . . I will have to forgive her and forgive myself for being so naive as to let her in my house alone. I honestly didn't know it was a big hazard!

I wish she did not have my grandson so I would not ever need to hear about her or have anything to do with her.

I am still praying I find it, but that is probably more denial that this could have happened.

To the person who posted about their daughter, how did you come to terms with the stealing of your stuff and the betrayal of trust? I see alcoholism as one thing, but I honestly did not know family trust would be jeaopardized.

Freedom1990

I came to accept that she was untrustworthy, end of story. I think any anger I had was at myself for trusting her in the first place. She did a pretty good job of pulling the proverbial wool over my eyes and I think a part of me needed to believe she really was in recovery.

Alcoholism/addiction/lack of trust all go hand in hand. For me, it is not two separate issues.

An alcoholic/addict will lie, steal, cheat, do whatever is necessary to protect her/his addictions.

I expect no less than that from my AD and therefore no longer put her in a position of trust.

dollydo

Drug addicts and alcoholics steal to fund their addiction. This is very common place. When I caught on to exabf, I locked everything up, including my purse. He did get away with stealing some of my jewelry, and I was so angery I couldn't think straight.

I am glad that he is no longer in my life, h#ll of a way to live.

Protect yourself, don't assume that anything is safe when she is around, cause, it's not.

Not my rules, just part of the disease.

damiank

It seems that if she didn't take your flipcam, she would have responded, unless she is trying to torture you emotionally.

seek

I just don't know for sure if she took it, if someone else took it, if I misplaced it, or what might have happened.

This issue is about trust for me - who to trust and as they say, "more will be revealed," hopefully.

I have to let it go - it consumed my entire day!