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-   -   Almost a year (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/236074-almost-year.html)

jackthedog 09-08-2011 07:29 PM

Almost a year
 
It has been since Nov. 1 of last year that my AH left and we separated. We only talk when it comes to our 14 year old son. I can hardly believe after 14 years of marriage that we don't talk about our relationship, if we even had one. I don't miss him, sometimes a little, but think of having someone new in my life more now than ever. I need to file for divorce but have no money to do so and need a lawyer to deal with the charges for marijuana cultivating and a company he owns. Just feeling hopeless today.

Pelican 09-09-2011 06:15 AM

Hi JTD,

Nice to *see* you again.

I wonder if you can file for divorce and ask the courts to make him pay for the divorce?
In my divorce, we petitioned for divorce and asked that my Ex pay 1/2 the costs of the divorce process.

A free legal consult with a divorce attorney may help you find your way.

wanttobehealthy 09-09-2011 06:26 AM

Unfortunately divorce is very expensive. I've put my own on hold though not the separation, for that very reason. It's no secret that one of the reasons (I was told this by the domestic violence hotline a few months ago) women stay in abusive marriages (which I think most to an alcoholic wind up being) is financial prison. No money to rent your own place, no money for a lawyer, etc.. and you wind up staying...

So, I think it's great that you've separated and stayed separated and my own two cents is that I don't think you need to wait for the divorce to be signed and sealed before you date (if that's what you're wanting to do).

Maybe you can find a free consult with a lawyer like suggested above or see if your state has a legal resource center and find out about free legal services. Unfortunately what I've found in my state is that unless you're on welfare you're not eligible for legal assistance. So, I guess for me, I need to become utterly destitute before I can get help.

I hope you are able to find a way to move fwd with the divorce in an affordable way...

nodaybut2day 09-09-2011 07:16 AM

I second (third?) the free legal consult suggestion. A lawyer will give you a clear idea of what to expect and what direction to take, especially considering the MJ charges.

Also, there are members on SR who have filed for divorce by themselves. I know it's not an easy process, but perhaps it could be an option?

halvsie 09-09-2011 10:00 AM

If you get a lot of free consultations in your town, then AH won't be able to use those lawyers because of conflict of interest. Don't know if that would help at all, but I found it to be interesting info.

barb dwyer 09-10-2011 10:00 AM

(((hug)))

I know sometimes it's more a matter of saying what one needs to
than needing advice on something.

I hope you'll take a minute and note
that it's been almost a year
of the year
you thought you would never get through.

We do the unimaginable...every day.


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