The Codependent Tree
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The Codependent Tree
Anyone read this when they were a kid? Okay...really it's called The Giving Tree. I re-read it for the first time in many, many years and it pissed me off. I remember at one time thinking that it was a beautiful story.
I think I want to write a new improved version where the tree grows up and takes care of himself.
I think I want to write a new improved version where the tree grows up and takes care of himself.
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The Giving Tree was my late husband's favorite story and all my girls know it literally word for word.
Your comment really stopped me short. OMG. I would never have looked at it as you describe had I not spent those years living with an active A, taking care of his every need while sacrificing mine. It makes me sad that I not only understand what you mean, but agree.
Your comment really stopped me short. OMG. I would never have looked at it as you describe had I not spent those years living with an active A, taking care of his every need while sacrificing mine. It makes me sad that I not only understand what you mean, but agree.
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I've always disliked that book and didn't understand why people liked it. It creeped me out and I was always a little ticked off at that stupid tree. What a pushover, lol. To bad I was that tree for such a long time. 
I also dislike 'Love you Forever' Creeeepy. I'm thankful I've brought my co-dependent ways to light now !
I also dislike 'Love you Forever' Creeeepy. I'm thankful I've brought my co-dependent ways to light now !
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Yes, I know what you mean about The Giving Tree. I've been a stump chump for a long time--hopefully getting better.
I was thinking the other day about all the codependent movie musical songs there are!!
From Carousel:
Common sense may tell you
That the ending will be sad,
And now's the time to break and run away.
But what's the use of wond'ring
If the ending will be sad?
He's your feller and you love him,
There's nothing more to say.
How about from The King and I:
You'll always go along
Defend him when he's wrong
And tell him when he's strong
He is wonderful
He'll always need your love
A man who needs your love
Can be wonderful
How about from Oliver:
If you are lonely then you will know
When someone needs you, you love them so
I won't betray his trust
Though people say I must
I've got to stay true just
As long as he needs me.
I didn't even have to look up the lyrics to these songs: I was a theater nut and played these albums over and over, and sang these songs over and over. Maybe I should just send the estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein my therapy bills!
I was thinking the other day about all the codependent movie musical songs there are!!
From Carousel:
Common sense may tell you
That the ending will be sad,
And now's the time to break and run away.
But what's the use of wond'ring
If the ending will be sad?
He's your feller and you love him,
There's nothing more to say.
How about from The King and I:
You'll always go along
Defend him when he's wrong
And tell him when he's strong
He is wonderful
He'll always need your love
A man who needs your love
Can be wonderful
How about from Oliver:
If you are lonely then you will know
When someone needs you, you love them so
I won't betray his trust
Though people say I must
I've got to stay true just
As long as he needs me.
I didn't even have to look up the lyrics to these songs: I was a theater nut and played these albums over and over, and sang these songs over and over. Maybe I should just send the estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein my therapy bills!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
In terms of media in general I agree with you.
However, I think The Giving tree was meant to be ironic. I don't' think it's commentary, at all, on how we should be, but instead is a commentary specifically about how sick the dynamic between the alcoholic/addict/narcissist (the boy) takes advantage of the codependent/me/maybe others here (the tree).
Reading other Silverstein work, I don't believe he was codependent at all, nor advocating for behaving as the tree.
As for I'll Love you Forever, I read that as commentary on our ability as parents to love our children regardless of whether we like them or not. I saw no evil there.
Cyranoak
However, I think The Giving tree was meant to be ironic. I don't' think it's commentary, at all, on how we should be, but instead is a commentary specifically about how sick the dynamic between the alcoholic/addict/narcissist (the boy) takes advantage of the codependent/me/maybe others here (the tree).
Reading other Silverstein work, I don't believe he was codependent at all, nor advocating for behaving as the tree.
As for I'll Love you Forever, I read that as commentary on our ability as parents to love our children regardless of whether we like them or not. I saw no evil there.
Cyranoak
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Originally Posted by Cyranoak 
In terms of media in general I agree with you.
Reading other Silverstein work, I don't believe he was codependent at all, nor advocating for behaving as the tree.
Cyranoak
Reading other Silverstein work, I don't believe he was codependent at all, nor advocating for behaving as the tree.
Cyranoak
I love his one-acts and I totally was trying to figure out where he might have been coming from with The Giving Tree after I had my revelation. I had previously just seen it that one simple way. I still want to write a spoof of it
@Solomio: Interesting about the songs. I've noticed it about some pop songs from the 50s and 60s though. One of my fave "ick" one's is Johnny Get Angry.
Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you of course
Let me know that you're the boss
Oh, Johnny get Angry
Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man
I want a cave man
Johnny show me that you care, really care, for me
Is there a puking emoticon?
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Oh I don't think it was written with any evil intent, or to spread a dysfunctional message or anything. I just don't like either of those stories, even though they are very popular and loved. I think that says way more about *me* then it does the story or the intent behind it
I love Shel Silverstein and we have some of his other stuff and read it a lot. Even Munsch has some other good books! ETA: Jeepers - I just went to Munsch's website and read how he came up with that book. Sad.
I love Shel Silverstein and we have some of his other stuff and read it a lot. Even Munsch has some other good books! ETA: Jeepers - I just went to Munsch's website and read how he came up with that book. Sad.
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Maybe I'm naive, in denial, both... but I really like The Giving Tree and Love You Forever...
While both could be co-dependent themed, they also could just be what they are-- sweet kids books that teach a nice lesson about caring/love.
Maybe I'm trying to cling to a simpler time when I read these books and didn't analyze them and am just burying my head?
Either way, I like them and my kids do too so for now I'm sticking with having them as part of my library!
While both could be co-dependent themed, they also could just be what they are-- sweet kids books that teach a nice lesson about caring/love.
Maybe I'm trying to cling to a simpler time when I read these books and didn't analyze them and am just burying my head?
Either way, I like them and my kids do too so for now I'm sticking with having them as part of my library!
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