lies and more lies.

Old 09-04-2011, 11:36 AM
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lies and more lies.

A difficult day with R practically boiling over with anger since she realises I mean to change things. Isn't it amazing how a problem drinker attaches all the blame to something outside their problem. A few examples from today;
'everybody knows you don't give me any support'
'you are worse than Hitler'
to her daughter 'I have to tell the truth now he beat me up and put me in hospital'
'I don't eat' (after being offered dinner)
ditto 'I don't drink tea'
walking up the stairs calling me unrepeatable names.
Slagging off our daughters boyfriend (lovely guy)
Sometimes it's hard not to respond, but I'm just going to walk away from it.
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:00 PM
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Ugh! That sounds very hard to deal with. I'm sort of chuckling over the "you are worse than Hitler" remark, though. I mean, gosh, what does it take to be worse than Hitler? That's pretty hard to imagine. I'm sorry you are the recipient of such hurtful words. And the blame is a heavy burden, too. You know it's not your fault, but it still hurts. Hang in there.
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:02 PM
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Glad you can just walk away from it. It takes a lot of strength to do that.

LOL. I guess you are worse than me then. According to the ex I AM Hitler.
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:23 PM
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My ex called my mother a Nazis!

Glad you walked away, good move!
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:46 PM
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The Hitler references must be popular with A's. Mine has told me I could have been a leader in the Gestapo and compares me to Stalin a lot. He's a history teacher and apparantly has a slew of historical characters at his fingertips to accuse me of being like. Also created a secret email address that I learned of a while back that had "expose##gulag" (the ## is our home address) as part of the title.

Very creative.

And yes, good job on not responding. It's so hard to do and not something I've always done a great job with.
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Old 09-04-2011, 12:49 PM
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WTBH I never thought that was the case, but I believe you have a point about the Hitler thing with As. Interesting.
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Old 09-04-2011, 01:11 PM
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Hahahaha Hitler.

Yes, Hitler was notorious for offering people dinner! And tea! And going to al-anon meetings!

Didn't realise your wife was such a history buff.
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Old 09-04-2011, 02:52 PM
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thanks for your responses everyone, they had me laughing outloud! OnMyWay- sounds like we should get together-the two most evil people on earth! Now from a tea and dinner making tyrant here's the best part-my partner is actually German!
I'm glad also that you support me in walking away-isn't it sometimes hard to do? when you could throw all the crap right back at them...but what's the point.
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Old 09-04-2011, 02:55 PM
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Wanttobehealthy, that's just hilarious!
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Old 09-04-2011, 03:02 PM
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I am so glad you are able to laugh at least a little. Laughter is good for the soul, especially with what you are dealing with
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Old 09-04-2011, 03:25 PM
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Can't tell you how nice it is to be here and have your support. For peace-I'm just listening to 'Spiegel im Spiegel' Arvo Part-check it out on youtube. thank you
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Old 09-04-2011, 03:33 PM
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See? Shows us Germans aren't all bad (yes I am German born and raised)

Thanks for sharing. It is a beautiful piece.
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Old 09-04-2011, 06:24 PM
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mine said that i'm just miss perfect like his family. that i don't know how to have a good time. that i suck in bed (after i said i didn't want to have sex with him when i caught him injecting speed). and that he felt like he had to "walk on eggshells" around me or i might turn him into the police. and apparently i am a "power nazi" like all those "stupid cops". oh and i'm "too smart for your own good".

then turn around 10 minutes later and i'm the adorable cute munchkin that is so sweet and wonderful and smart and sexy. the one he loves so much and can't live without. i felt like i was with two different people.
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Old 09-04-2011, 09:29 PM
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Ugh. I'm the "dictator," "emasculator," "how does it feel to be so perfect..." I don't have a hard time walking away from those things, but, the projecting is a huge button for me!!
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Old 09-04-2011, 10:03 PM
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!

Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
The Hitler references must be popular with A's.
Didn't know that A's also invoke Godwin's Law - I thought that was only for arguments on the internet!

sorry you have to put up with all of that!
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Old 09-05-2011, 09:35 AM
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In addition to other things, I am a moneywhore. Translation: you are not giving me money to contribute to the upkeep at the bar.

Seems like we all learned so many things about ourselves :0
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Old 09-05-2011, 09:59 AM
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Most of the things my EXAH called me are too obscene to type out here.

I am so incredibly grateful that I don't have to live that way anymore.

I am worthy of kindness and respect.

All of us are.
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Old 09-05-2011, 10:05 AM
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caughthiminject-sounds like he is two (or more) different people, how we all have to deal with verbal abuse, isn't it so childish, aren't addicts so childish?
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Old 09-06-2011, 04:38 AM
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Originally Posted by painterman View Post
A difficult day with R practically boiling over with anger since she realises I mean to change things. Isn't it amazing how a problem drinker attaches all the blame to something outside their problem. A few examples from today;
'everybody knows you don't give me any support'
'you are worse than Hitler'
to her daughter 'I have to tell the truth now he beat me up and put me in hospital'
'I don't eat' (after being offered dinner)
ditto 'I don't drink tea'
walking up the stairs calling me unrepeatable names.
Slagging off our daughters boyfriend (lovely guy)
Sometimes it's hard not to respond, but I'm just going to walk away from it.

I was told by my STBX mother-in-law in a four page email that I "need to stop my hitler treatment to my STBXAH". That made me rofl!!

Besides my STBXAH giving me verbal abuse all these years. She was saying in her email that basically my 16 year old daughter was a ***** and my 16 year old son is a bigot. Amongst other things. I'm trying to forget the email.

No wonder where my STBXAH got it from.
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Old 09-06-2011, 01:31 PM
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The Hitler comment is classic. You really should add that to the Quackers thread!

My AH told me that the Pat Benetar song "Harden My Heart" made him think about me, because I must be very hard hearted to "throw away" our wonderful marriage and put our kids through a separtation all because of a little drinking. Quack!
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