LSU417

My husband is an alcoholic. Wow that is really hard to say. I am so tired of his behavior. it isn't all the time but sometimes he gets so drunk he is annoying. He won't shut up and says hurtful things. Like tonight we were over at a friends and out of no where he calls me selfish and that I am treating him like crap. We have two kids and while I was trying to get food fixed for one I asked him to fix food for another. He always tells me this when he has been drinking too much.
I talk to him about it and he says he is sorry or doesn't remember it. Surprise there.... He says he will cut back which he does and it lasts a few days or a week. Then it will gradually slip out of control.
We have 2 daughters 5 and 6. He tells me all the time when he is sober that I have given him the world and how lucky he is. If this is true why won't he stop drinking.
I really needs some advice. If you have been through this what worked for you? Is it ever going to get better?

Milly39

Welcome to SR !
Remember ..... you didn't cause it, you cannot cure it and you cannot control it.
Read the stickies at the top of the board and keep reading and posting here. You will get some great advice.
Try to get to an alanon meeting if possible...you will get great comfort and serenity there.
In the meantime...Take care of yourself and your little ones..

dollydo

Welcome,

Your story is a familar one. The only thing you can do is work on you, go to Alanon meetings, read Codependent No More, read around this forum, ask questions and keep posting.

Another thing that I might mention is to keep your children as your priorty. Whether you realize it or not they are being affected by his alcoholism. Children carrry their childhood into adulthood. They see and hear everything, although they do not vocalize their feelings, they are suffering.

Hopeworks

The disease of alcoholism is powerful, baffling and cunning and it is progressive... in my experience it does not ever get better unless the alcoholic gets into TRUE recovery and quite honestly it is only a small majority that enter that path and stay on it for life. Those of us who love the alcoholic desperately need to believe that our loved one is going to beat the odds and be that rare person who finds their way out of the maze of addiction.

I have loved many alcoholics and addicts in my life as alcoholism doesn't run in my family it flows through it like a raging river... and if it is not a family member I will subconsciously be attracted to someone who has underlying, hidden addictive issues. None of my loved ones have made it through the maze as of yet although I still have hope for my brother who is currently abstinent. My father died in his addiction and ex alcohlic husband (xah#1) is still using after 25 years post divorce. My 2nd husband (stbxah#2) just relapsed a few months ago and we are seperated and I am not taking him back (he wants me too and he is sober again but it will just be rinse and repeat for life as he doesn't really want to stop)

I also encourage you to read the stickied posts, track down books about this subject and visit some alanon meetings ... posting and reading here is very, very helpful in sorting out the confusing world of addiction. I found getting a therapist who is well versed in addiction very helpful as well.

Take care of you... we understand and we care. Keep us posted...