Sometimes you can't help but laugh

Old 08-25-2011, 07:36 AM
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Sometimes you can't help but laugh

I find it helpful for me to laugh when they do their funny A stuff. They're so cute when they are trying to figure out how to untie their shoes! It's like seeing a 2 year old figuring it out for the first time! Trying to walk is like seeing a little kitten stumble around! It's all in the way you look at it I guess!

Sometimes you have to laugh through it, you have no choice. I remember when I had to pick my AW up from a friends house because she got into the Devils Springs (160 proof vodka, because 80 proof just takes too damn long!). I drove over with our 2 dogs in the car, it was a hot summer day so I left the car running with the AC on. By the time I carried AW over to the car to pour her in there, the dogs hit the door lock & locked all the doors, car still running, dogs staring at me wondering why we're all still outside. So put AW back on the ground & finally break into car. She didn't seem to think it was as funny as I did when I told her the next day, but I still think it's funny as hell!
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Old 08-25-2011, 07:40 AM
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I find your post and wording very offensive.."funny A stuff"? my drinking wasn't funny at all, it was sickening and embarrassing, causing me a lot of pain, depression and upset.
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Old 08-25-2011, 07:56 AM
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Love your story. Aren't dogs just the greatest?

It really helps me to find humor in my situation. As painful as it is, and boy is it painful, the occasional chuckle really helps keep me sane.

The other day I found a full flask of vodka in the outside pocket of my husband's expensive, fancy new golf clubs, which are kept in the trunk of his car. This after he'd told me he was no longer drinking. I loosened the cap so the vodka would leak out all over inside the golf bag and clubs. Of course my husband could never come back and accuse me of doing so, because he'd have to admit he had vodka in his bag. Childish as it was, it gave me great satisfaction. The sad part is that I don't think he'll notice the wet mess or even smell it and notice that the flask is empty. But the laugh I got from it was good for me.
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Old 08-25-2011, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Fandy View Post
I find your post and wording very offensive.."funny A stuff"? my drinking wasn't funny at all, it was sickening and embarrassing, causing me a lot of pain, depression and upset.

I agree, most of the time it isn't funny at all. I'm sorry you took offense to it. But sometimes you have to laugh at a situation so you don't go completely insane. I don't feel I should have to break down in tears everytime I'm confronted with a situation like those I described, I do that enough over all the other ones. For me, laughter can help me get through some tough times. I was trying to post in the same spirit as "things a normie wouldn't know" Sorry if I missed the mark. As for "funny A stuff", maybe I should have given it more thought, but i was trying to make it light. Sorry I offended you. But I still stand behind finding the humor in things to make it more bearable.
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Old 08-25-2011, 09:50 AM
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I understand where you're coming from. While I don't necessarily laugh, I sometimes watch in befuddled amazement.

A few years ago, when my daughter and I were just starting to realize the extent of AW's problem, AW put a pouch of Kraft cheese sauce in the Microwave, thinking it was popcorn.

Of course, it burned to a crisp and stunk up the house.

When Daughter asked AW what she was making, AW said "Bubble Corn".

It's tragic and sad, but you're right... sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying.
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:15 AM
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I think humor and laughter can be wonderful healing things, and also a coping mechanism.

Today I can look back over my drinking career, and I can laugh about certain things. Other things are more painful, and probably always will be.

What I try not to do is laugh at someone else's expense in order to cope.

We all have choices in life, and even remaining in the same situation with an active alcoholic is a choice.

For me, it's no longer an option to have an active alcoholic in my home, and I find laughter a part of every day life now, sometimes just out of sheer joy.

I don't ever want to live in that painful place again, and that is my choice.
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:23 AM
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Sometimes you just have to laugh nothing wrong with that we have all done enough crying
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Old 08-26-2011, 10:22 AM
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We al anoners..well, do find it funny....we are taking care of you!!! u alkies at the time,dont *get it*...so we al anoners have to find some sane thing to do ...so we laugh at it all......i am glad you can laugh....the alkie in my life does not know the stupid stuff he put in this relationship to make me LAUGH and LAUGH time and again....
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:06 AM
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I think it's funny... not laughing at your wife and her disease... but the image of your dogs locking themselves in the car as you went to rescue your wife!

I can't even count all the times have I found myself trying to bail somebody else out... only to find myself in need of rescuing!!!!

A sense of humor for ourselves is good. Laughing at someone else... is not.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:18 AM
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There was only one time I reached the point of laughter. When I had finally reached my breaking point and told him to get out of my house, he was in my face literally screaming as loud as he could. Calling me any name he could think of, accusing me of anything that his limited brain could concoct....and I just started laughing. I am not sure if it was hysteria or what but I could not stop. He did not even know how to react. I still chuckle when I think of the look on his face when he realized the words were just not having the same effect.

The laughter was good and I knew that moment it was laugh and walk away or be lost in the insanity forever.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:28 AM
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These threads come up about once a year or so I've noticed.

I've never posted on one before but time and recovery have been kind to me because I have one to post this time.

This is a situation that is laughable, not so much the person. This situation is part of a camping trip that was such a disaster, and so sad, that it prompted me to file for divorce when we got back. It was my bottom. I can look back now and find some humor here and there so yay me. Here is the story.

We were planning our first 'family' vacation in about 4 years. Prior to we had taken separate vacations because family is boring when you want to drink and do things with the guys instead.

Camping. Now this is something we loved and used to do together as a family all the time. We even camped for our honeymoon. This isn't any camping trip but 6 nights and 7 days of camping, in a tent, with four kids 10 and under. Lots of work. I had lists for everything. I *begged* my ah to NOT PACK THE TRUCK until I got off work. I'm no idiot. I know how the man packs and his lack of organization.

You guessed it. He packs. *sigh* OK, I go with it. Load up the kids and drive drive drive. I go to set up the tent because of course my xah is socializing and enjoying his beers, or driving for more beers, while I watch kids and set up camp.

We have a tent - *YAY* No Tent poles. *BOO* Really. No tent poles. I'm looking around at 4 kids and 7 days worth of camping crap and no way to set up a tent. hahahahahahahahaha. I was actually still laughing at this point. Soo typical I can't even tell you. So I called around and found a tent to borrow and set it up all while he sat in the friends camper and drank himself silly that day and every day for the rest of the camping trip losing keys and phones and everything else under the sun.

But to go camping without tent poles is FUNNY people. Maybe it is only funny because it was so entirely PREDICTABLE that I wasn't even surprised. It is FUNNY because it was my normal and while that is an ironic funny, I still chuckle. It is funny because we were laughing at the time making no indication at all that anyone felt this was just anything more then forgetting a toothbrush. It is hard to explain because when I read what I wrote, it really doesn't sound all that funny. I feel a little exhausted reading it so I grasp again for the funny part. I feel heavy, like all the wreckage and damage of alcoholism is just laying there on top of me and if I can laugh just a little, I throw some of it off.

I was in a very dark and sad place when I could not find the comedy of arriving without tent poles. I'm glad I can chuckle about it now and find that crumb of funny in such a not funny weekend/situation. Sort of like getting locked out of your car by your own dog. I'm not really laughing at that story either but I get the comedy of living it. It is healthy IMO, to crawl out from under the damage in any way we can, and I'm sorry if that is hard for others to hear.
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Old 08-26-2011, 04:23 PM
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I am a recovering alcohlic and I often read the friends and family forum to gain insight into how my husband might be viewing our situation (thank you for that!) He is very quiet about all of this and it's hard to know how he's feeling. I have learned a lot by reading your posts and have even encouraged my husband to come on here, but so far he hasn't wanted to.

I'm not offended by you guys laughing at these situations-- I've always believed in the whole "laughter is medicine" thing and I think people need to get through things however they can. Having said that, though... I just feel I need to say this. I think it's important to be able to laugh at the situation without laughing at a person's expense. I obviously don't know all of your situations or husbands or wives so I really can't speak about those. But I can say that I would be extremely hurt to know that when I was at my worst my husband was laughing at me and being condescending (not saying you guys are... just saying.) Maybe you guys think that it shouldn't matter if I'm "hurt" or not because I've caused the situation. All I know is that I was very sick for a long time and was miserable myself. I'm trying to rectify that now.

Hope no ones bothered that I posted on here, and like I said, I appreciate hearing the other perspective on all of this. Sometimes your posts hit me hard because my husband could be saying those same words. So thanks for that.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:00 PM
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Laughing at a situation is fine with me. My sense of humor carried me through many stressful situations in my life, and, a whole bunch of them were not related to addiction.
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