Buffalo66

HI,

I have not been on here for a while.
I have not been using the internet too much at all, being busy with life, etc.

Just want to say Hi, and update you all who have helped me so much.

If you do not know my story, my RAH was as bad as they come with the alcoholism, he entered rehab voluntarily after 12 years last October. We have a 6 year old son.

When I last came to the site my RAH was living across town, and he was still going through the motions of recovery without much change in attitude or behavior other than drinking and cheating, and really lying, too...but he was very negative, still, and thats why he was not here with us.

Around June, he had started to exhibit some more normal behavior, opting for a more positive attitude and less weird outbursts, and just general normal levels of concern for me and our son.

I stood back and observed. He showed up with a new (used, but very nice) car and handed over the keys. He cleaned out the basement for me one day while I was working.

I finally asked if he had had a shift of some kind, and he admitted that he had started taking the meds on Late May that the doctor had prescribed six months earlier.
Said it has changed his whole life.

This month, since it was his six month lease ending,a nd I was broke, he said he could not pay one more month of double rent, and could we try moving in again.

I agreed. things have been miraculously low drama, with what drama there is coming from my fears about his "motives" which almost makes him laugh a little. He admits to understandning my fears, but he seems to really be stabilized and he is helpful, present, loving, and takes responsibility for his stuff when it comes up.


I am scared, but we are working together for the first time in....well, ever.

Just a short term success story to share.

I hope all are as well as can be if not very happy!

tjp613

Awesome update, Buffalo!! It sounds like your family is in a good place! Have ya'll been in counseling at all?

sojourner

Thanks for your story! It's amazing the change that comes over people who embrace recovery, and it's a real blessing to be able to see that.

Keep coming back! His journey continues as does yours.

Thumper

Wow, thanks for the update! I'm so glad your rah is addressing is alcoholism AND his other chemical imbalances. Yay and positive vibes being sent out that he, and your family, continue moving down the path of recovery.

StarCat

Thank you so much for the update, it's great to hear that things are going better!

You have every right to enjoy the good times, despite distrusting his motives.
I believe that's part of the whole "Living in the present moment."
Only time will tell if he's committed to this change. As for right now, of course, it sounds like things are heading in the right direction!
I'm so happy for you.

skippernlilg

Oh, this is wonderful. I hope someday soon we can have the same kind of story.

trapeze

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are taking it slowly and watching actions, not words. Good stuff!

stepsforward

Good for you. I sure it is a scared and great feeling at the same time.

Buffalo66

Thanks, everyone! Its been a work in progress and I am learning a lot, and a lot has to do with accepting the present and allowing joy.

It is hard and I am being forced to face MY addiction to the drama and codependency I had become so used to.

Really, I am finding that I had, as we all have, said to myself over the years,,,"if only he would act this way, or be this concerned or, put these priorities first...If only I did not have a constant psychic nagging that he really did not want to be here..."

Now I have all of that if only stuff, and now it is my work to accept what he offers.

He is remarkably patient about my snarls of fear.

tjp613, I am working with a great counselor, and he is seeing a psych dr. mostly for med management, but I really think that his slanted negative thought patterns and his strange backhanded comments, and all that weird stuff that used to happen are a combination of the chemical imbalance in his brain being addressed chemically, and his own work on looking at himself and the life he made(or the life he was tryinng to obliterate).
He keeps referring to himself as someone who just got here.

It is very healthy for our son, too.

Thanks for the good wishes, and I hope everyone is still keeping the llight in sight!

BeProactive

great to read success stories.. good luck and best wishes for your family, Buffalo. Trust your son is keeping good health.