No Contact With Financial Business to Resolve?

Old 08-18-2011, 03:19 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 187
No Contact With Financial Business to Resolve?

Hi SR,

My traumatic and abusive relationship with borderline personality disordered XABF has finally come to a dramatic end. For good, this time.

I'm doing the best I can to stay no contact (struggle at times) and heal from the abuse and ruin this relationship has caused me (lost my career, many friends, self-esteem, sanity, and LOTS of money).

I have therapy and alanon to help me re-gain my sense of self, supportive friends who have taken me in since I've lost my career, but the financial aspect...

Basically XABF destroyed much of my personal property during various abusive rages (computer, cell phone, car parts, etc.) He also racked up close to $1000 worth of parking tickets, and despite me working 2 jobs for a long time to support him, he stole my money to buy cocaine on numerous occasions, spent impulsively on booze, etc., and basically took me for everything I had before moving onto the next girl (within 2 weeks of leaving me he has started seeing a girl at his new job).

He has agreed to pay me the money he owes me in installments. I don't even trust him to keep his word, and will take him to small claims court if he does not respond to my requests for payment, but I'm wondering what's the best way to go about this given no contact is completely essential right now.

How have you all dealt with loose ends in the aftermath of a breakup with your A's? Did you have a mediator? Just keep the conversation to a bare minimum regarding matters at hand? Anyone been in this situation? Should I just sue his ass? LoL.

Thanks in advance for any input!
nicam is offline  
Old 08-18-2011, 03:26 PM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 187
I should also add that I am in possession of 1/2 of his personal belongings. I agreed to return them to him when he pays me what I'm owed. I would just pawn them, but don't know how much I can get for a suitcase full of clothes, ipod, boombox, and various other junk.
nicam is offline  
Old 08-18-2011, 03:30 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
file a civil suit anyway, to be sure you get your money. I went through this once and my previous divorce attny. sent one of his law students who was clerking to represent me. it did not cost me anything but file fees and I rec'd all that he owed me by a certain date.

I did not even have to go into the courtroom, she did everything.
Fandy is offline  
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