Am I trying to control again or what is this?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 94
Am I trying to control again or what is this?
Currently, I am in counseling and attending Al Anon. I have a strong belief that addiction is a disease. However, the person has the responsibility and choice to get help and to work a program of recovery. Where my problem comes in at.... my counselor does not believe it is a disease. When talking to her about my RAH, she says that it's a choice. I found an article and emailed it to my counselor, whose reply was "I don't buy it". I started to type a long email to my counselor, but then deleted it because I think my motives are trying to convince her that it's a disease. It's not my responsiblity to convince her of this, but I find it hard to talk to her now about addiction and my husband. Maybe I feel that she looks down on my husband now? I'm not sure. I know this is something I need to talk to my counselor about and work through,l but it comes down to not wanting to have the conversation- too much like confrontation and I want to avoid it. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, but it helps to get this out of my head. Does anyone have any thoughts?
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I have no experience to offer from a recovery point of view but as a consumer if I am paying for something and do not feel like I am getting my monies worth then I have the right to find a new service provider.
Just my 2 cents.
Just my 2 cents.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Ksumm77
I have been in long-term counseling for my own recovery from an eating disorder. In that time I have seen two counselors who specialized in treatment for this. One of them also has a lot of experience with addictions in general and alcohol addiction particularly.
When I realized that my exAH was struggling with addiction I was in the process of cutting down on my own work. I made the best decision for me at the time and chose to continue to work with the individual who had experience with eating disorders and addictions in general. There was nothing wrong with my other counselor, but I did not have to spend time explaining addiction, defending addiction etc to the woman I chose. Just last week in my session I had to finally admit after six years that I am living with some anger at the other counselor who I stopped seeing because we were both so lacking of knowledge of alcohol addiction. It is not her fault for the decisions I made at the time, and I feel much better having said it outloud (it got out, now I can heal).
I also want to say that in my experience talking with my counselors about when I disagree is great practice for me. I have been fortunate to pick individuals in that capacity who are mature and well trained, and it has always gone well once I dredge up the courage. It has always allowed me to grow and take it into the real world too.
Good luck.
I have been in long-term counseling for my own recovery from an eating disorder. In that time I have seen two counselors who specialized in treatment for this. One of them also has a lot of experience with addictions in general and alcohol addiction particularly.
When I realized that my exAH was struggling with addiction I was in the process of cutting down on my own work. I made the best decision for me at the time and chose to continue to work with the individual who had experience with eating disorders and addictions in general. There was nothing wrong with my other counselor, but I did not have to spend time explaining addiction, defending addiction etc to the woman I chose. Just last week in my session I had to finally admit after six years that I am living with some anger at the other counselor who I stopped seeing because we were both so lacking of knowledge of alcohol addiction. It is not her fault for the decisions I made at the time, and I feel much better having said it outloud (it got out, now I can heal).
I also want to say that in my experience talking with my counselors about when I disagree is great practice for me. I have been fortunate to pick individuals in that capacity who are mature and well trained, and it has always gone well once I dredge up the courage. It has always allowed me to grow and take it into the real world too.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Sounds like the counseling relationship has run it's course... maybe time to look for a new therapist. You shouldn't feel like you have to defend yourself to your therapist... you get enough of that in life!!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Sounds like ti is time to find a counselor that specializes in addiction counseling.
This one does not have a 'clue' as to what addiction is all about and I too believe that she is putting you at 'odds' with yourself in a negative way.
I will say this, it was a 'choice' for me when I picked up that first drink. It very rapidly turned into an ABSOLUTE NECESSITY.
If I were you I would be finding a new counselor QUICK.
In the meantime, we are here for you.
Love and hugs,
This one does not have a 'clue' as to what addiction is all about and I too believe that she is putting you at 'odds' with yourself in a negative way.
I will say this, it was a 'choice' for me when I picked up that first drink. It very rapidly turned into an ABSOLUTE NECESSITY.
If I were you I would be finding a new counselor QUICK.
In the meantime, we are here for you.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 436
I have had two psychotherapists in the past 18 months. The first was helpful to a point and then just kept going on about the same thing - me leaving my AH. I wasn't emotionally ready to do that at that time and so I eventually stopped setting up appointments.
My second therapist has experience of working in the field of alcoholism and I can tell you it makes all the difference. I feel as though she can talk the talk and although its not like the feeling you get on SR, that people 'get you', it comes pretty close. Since going to see my new therapist, I have become much stronger, put myself first and have since left my AH of 23 yrs and I am living on my own for the first time in my life.
Therapists/councilors etc are expensive, (IME) so why not pay for one you at least feel you are getting the most out of.
My second therapist has experience of working in the field of alcoholism and I can tell you it makes all the difference. I feel as though she can talk the talk and although its not like the feeling you get on SR, that people 'get you', it comes pretty close. Since going to see my new therapist, I have become much stronger, put myself first and have since left my AH of 23 yrs and I am living on my own for the first time in my life.
Therapists/councilors etc are expensive, (IME) so why not pay for one you at least feel you are getting the most out of.
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