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-   -   The drunk dialer strikes again (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/234425-drunk-dialer-strikes-again.html)

XXXXXXXXXX 08-17-2011 05:59 PM

The drunk dialer strikes again
 
Ex"r"abf is having serious trouble with no contact. I asked him for some time and nc this weekend, after he hacked into my fb account and read my messages and deleted some of my friends. I blocked him.

After a month of sobriety (and a week where he was telling me all was well and that I wasn't supportive and needy him wanting to talk on the phone all day and try to make me feel guilty because I have said that I won't work on our relationship right now) I asked for this time.

And then comes the evidence that verifies that he is not healthy enough to have a healthy relationship. Monday when I didn't answer the phone or 44313642 texts, he makes the threat that if I don't answer, he will go get wasted.

He didn't Monday night, or ties and I talked to him for a few minutes at lunch yesterday. Today he started with the texts that make no sense, random crap, song lyrics, nonsense posts. As I wasn't answering, the voicemails started coming, and the voicemail threat that he would call my parents and sister.

He tried to call my parents, I was here and picked up then hung up. he called my sister and said some bizarre things to her and accused her of breaking us up.

I fear that there will be more calls tonight. It is so manipulative to keep calling my family. He thinks I will answer to keep him from calling, and I'm considering it as I really don't want him to call
My parents, especially if he is going to continue into the wee hours of the am as is his usual.

This verifies my need to go nc and stay that way.

Ugh... I want a vacation on an island with no computer or phone? Anyone wanna come with?

Ladybug0130 08-17-2011 06:26 PM

Block his phone number. You can go online to get instructions on how to do it with your particular phone company and it's usually very easy. I did it after a month of non-stop phone calls and it was the best decision I ever made. And if he calls from another number, just block that one too.

MTSlideAddict 08-17-2011 06:32 PM

I would love to join on that vacation. :)

My AH did the exact same thing when he was drunk dialing. My parents go to bed early and he would call them late just to say something that didn't make any sense. It is a manipulation tool.

I would leave the house, because there was no reasoning or even being in the same room when he was drunk. He would constantly try to pick a fight. Even if I said nothing he would just continue on his tirade yelling and calling me names. I had no choice to leave for the night at least for my own sanity.

He would eventually try to start something when I was at work calling me making some big deal out of something that wasn’t even a deal. I just didn’t even bother going home at all in those instances. That is when he would call my family over and over again. I did not entertain him during this time; I ignored every phone call or text. I told my parents to do the same. The next morning he would apologize, but the cycle often recurred shortly again.

I think ignoring him is the best thing. Otherwise, he will continue to manipulate you.

dollydo 08-17-2011 06:41 PM

There is only one answer....No Contact..block his number. Your parents can call their land line server and have them block his number due to harassment, or, just unplug the phone at night.

Keep his old texts, you may need them, as if he continues this behavior you can get a stalking or restraining order against him.

No one deserves to be violated in this manner, especially your parents.

Jadmack25 08-17-2011 07:14 PM

Keep phone records, text messages, audio recordings, anything and tell him you will call police if it continues, and also block him. Report his actions to your service providers, and they can also advise him that he is on very shaky ground.

Of course it is possible he will totally ignore your words, but he could find himself barred from having his own phone services if he is deemed a nuisance caller.

Here's hoping for silence.

Tuffgirl 08-17-2011 09:13 PM


Originally Posted by XXXXXXXXXX (Post 3075049)
Ugh... I want a vacation on an island with no computer or phone? Anyone wanna come with?

I'll join. Relationships suck. Having a bad night myself...sigh...good night for a glass of wine and a hot bubble bath and dreams of a tropical island with no phone or computer, no husband or kids, no puppies, no work, just hot cabana boys and little fruity drinks with umbrellas in them.

:c004:

Ya ya ya - this too shall pass and all - but heck sometimes it just feels good to wallow!

sweetteewalls 08-17-2011 10:47 PM

I would LOVE to go no contact but we have a 3 year old. I can't wait for her to be older so we never have to speak! Anytime I engage its always drama. You sound so strong and I want you to be proud of yourself!

BobbyJ 08-17-2011 10:48 PM

Hey Wait For Me...I love cabana boys!

BobbyJ 08-17-2011 10:50 PM

Damn, It's the phone again...I swear they are all born with one! Your not alone!


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