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Is paranoia a symptom of alcoholism?

Old 08-16-2011, 09:39 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Cool

Hey wanttobehealthy ---

OK, here I come with a 'minority opinion' again. I'm not sure where this one has come from, but here goes................

Is this a symptom of alcoholism....? I dunno, is it......? Who knows; mebbe yes; mebbe no. I kinda wanna land on the side of the 'no.'

Sometimes I think all the stuff we may wanna blame on alcohol, or drugs, well, they may just be..............part of the 'human condition.'

The thought (answer?) that went roaming around my brain while reading your OP was, regardless of the alcohol, perhaps he's just doing what a lot of (mainly dishonest) folks do............: blame/accuse others of doing just what they have been doing........yeah....?

Anyway, just a thought..............


(o:
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Old 08-16-2011, 09:49 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Noelle- yeah I am with you-- I guess it doesn't really matter if it's attributable to alcoholism or not. He lies, he's stolen money from our joint account, he is deceitful etc... and he accuses me of things (that oddly SOUND really rational which makes it hard to brush them aside TBH).

Whether it's related to alcoholism or not, it's defintely related to his guilty conscience I'd imagine and his need to deflect/project etc...

I really was just more curious than anything and wondered if the paranoia and being CERTAIN beyond certainty of things that he has NO proof of or reason to believe, was something others have experienced.

What's frustrating to me is that he has "facts" that he says support his accusations and it's annoying to have this rolling around in my head bc I feel guilty of the things he's accused me of despite not doing them. How sick is that?
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Old 08-21-2011, 01:28 PM
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Have had AW tell me on phone (while I was overseas) she knows I have been following her, has seen my car(didn't have anymore) parked at bars she frequents, even described the clothes I was wearing.

I asked her how it was possible as I have been thousands of miles away; she hung up.

I asked a buddy that is an addiction specialist. Confirmed that alcoholism can do all those things and more. Paranoia, delusions, standard lies, etc etc.

That conversation actually made me very sad and sorry for her.
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:32 PM
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My ex used to accuse me of things he himself was doing. So projection I guess but it comes across as being paranoia as I wasn't aware he was doing them himself when he first started accusing me.
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Old 08-21-2011, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by tigger11 View Post
Many times, our A's accuse us of things they're doing themselves.
Ditto. Paranoia could be the cause...or just plain old guilt. I mean, if THEY would cross the line and do these things, why wouldn't you? Or perhaps a means of deflection. If they accuse you first...then you can't accuse them.

Whatever it is, it's all garbage.
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:55 PM
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Mine told me he would provoke me with accusations to decide whether it was a vodka or jameson's day. Niiiice. Way to go there, Quacker.

He has also been jealous of Words with Friends, my ex who works in a huge system (I hardly ever see him and don't tell stxabf if I do see him); paranoid about my band practices, if I take a shower other than the morning even if I'm dirty from yardwork, what I post on FB and what I don't post on FB, etc... the list could go on and on.

Now that he's gone, the paranoia has taken full force. He recently told me he doesn't trust me because I keep changing my mind. He seems to believe all decisions are static and shouldn't be effected because of his nasty attitude towards me. He told me he refuses to come here alone to get his stuff because, "...I'll come over and you'll start a fight. The next thing I know, you'll call the cops and I'll be led out in handcuffs." Wha? That is NOT me. But, that paranoia takes hold and there's no way out.
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Old 09-19-2011, 07:16 PM
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My loved one struggled not with paranoia, but with less than rational thinking at times (especially when he was drinking or upset).

This is one of the things I took on so much of (if he said it it must be true).

It is just now I am starting to seperate those things out.
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Old 09-20-2011, 04:20 AM
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My STBXAH's paranoia has been getting worse these last few years. He always says I'm cheating which I'm not. I'm sneaky like following him around.

He is also getting delusional. He thinks I'm playing games with his mind. He thinks I'm putting the kids against him. Maybe this belongs in the paranoia part.

He just seems to be getting worse and worse. He also has been known to smoke pot every day and other drugs along the way.
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Old 09-20-2011, 05:52 AM
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Alcohol does strange things to the brain.....

My A stepson was never paranoid in his behavior until he went through the DT's at the hospital a couple of years ago.....then it was paranoia mixed with hallucinations. Sigh....
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Old 09-20-2011, 09:49 AM
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My RABF did have instances of paranoia and hallucinations. I feel funny telling you this, but I used to enable him on those stories, too. I would just nod my head and smile, as if all those things happened to all of us. I was trying to be the loving, understanding girlfriend. Sirens, horns blowing and red flags were everywhere, but there I was, nodding and smiling and hugging and being sweet.
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Old 09-20-2011, 11:32 AM
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I am not sure paranoia is the word that fits, or denial, projection, defensiveness... they all kind of blur together.
My xbf seems completely incapable of recognizing that EACH fight we had, worked its way back to the reality that each one centered around his actions and mentality..when he was drunk. I started the other day to bring up something he said to me the other day, and he sheepishly admitted (evaded?) what I brought up, by saying "I don't remember what I said". (my own stupidity was in even attempting to address it).
No ****, Dick Tracy. He DOES NOT KNOW what is going on, when drunk. His mind blocks out anything that contradicts his own vision of himself as jovial, friendly, mellow and "just having a good time".
Maybe somewhere in the depths of his mind.. he knows that he continues to mess up, but it is far easier to use someone else (me) as target, and blame me for the fight, validate his choice to end the relationship, and avoid being around anyone who might have cause to confront HIS ISSUES. It's as if he HAS TO find ANY reason, to deflect honesty, even if it looses the idea of an "us". The excuses/ paranoia focus on me. None of his friends see any issue with him drinking...why would they? It's all normal in their world.
The fear is there for all of them, I think. If you can't face what that real fear IS...then, conciously or otherwise, there has to be something else to pin the fear on. Most of us here can see through the cover, but our minds are not screwed by the booze.
All of it seems to be a mechanism to avoid the core issue of what drinking does to the mind and ability to reason.
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Old 09-20-2011, 12:16 PM
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I experienced intensified paranoia by the end, yes. Even the mail man, someone's dog barking, or the telephone ringing would affect my mood and put me on the alert. Alcohol literally poisons and warps the mind, and can cause profound personality distortions. It took a while - many years - for me to get to this point, however.
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Old 09-20-2011, 07:11 PM
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My xabf got pissed at me because he heard the neighbor's lawn mower at 11am. He thought I was mowing the lawn on purpose to wake him up. I think I wasn't even home when he thought this. He said just kept tossing and turning because "I" was keeping him from sleeping his required 22 hours a day (I jest), and he wasn't gonna "let you win" by getting him out of bed. When I told him I wasn't home and it must've been the neighbor, he just changed the subject.

Me using a hairdryer in the bedroom at 10am was another point of contention for him. I was using the hairdryer in the bedroom, where HE was sleeping because I was mad at him. He said he could tell I was mad at him from how the hairdryer sounded. Huh? Wtf?

Another time I was just trying to talk to him about something but the tv was on Dr. Phil. The family on the show was having a heated debate about something but he took their intensity and projected it into our conversation. He said he could tell I was mad at him because of the tone of voice on the tv. What the hell is that? All alcohol induced, I'm sure.
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