wister

Back in June my son and I took a trip to see my sis. While gone AH drank pretty heavy and it was not a pleasant return home. At that time he said that he did want to live sober and I set a boundary. If he wishes to live in the house with us he needs to be in recovery- no drinking and going to meetings.

In July he drank again. Not heavy, but only because that was all he had and it was a Sunday. He was honest with me, but not with his program. I let him stay, and he must have decided my boundary was all talk.

For the past two weeks things have felt off. I kept suspecting he was drinking, and would have these insane conversations in my head. Well he was drinking. I don't know when it started, and I don't know to what extent. He never would really admit that he had been drinking, but he did stop denying.

This is not the first time he has been sober for a period and the started to drink again. I don't need any books to tell me what the few drinks this past week will eventually become.

What I need is some way to make it feel better that I told him to leave if he was drinking. I thought I would feel better about things, but I don't. I love this man. Why is he finding it so hard to surrender?!?!?!?

He called today. I think he was hoping I would tell him to come home. When I reiterated that he was welcome to come home when he was ready to be in recovery he got off the phone pretty fast. It didn't feel good.

Freedom1990

I found it just as hard to surrender to my powerlessness over another human being as the alcoholic does to his/her alcoholism.

Doing the right thing sometimes comes with feelings that aren't so good. It's hard to do the right thing at times.

Sending you hugs of support in sticking to your guns!

wister

Thank you.

dollydo

You did just fine, and most important you did the right thing for you, and, hopefully he will now get his act together and hop on the recovery train to save himself.

I know how difficult it is, in dealing with my exabf I realized that he was very much like a child. If you tell a child, if you do so and so again, you will lose your nintendo and if the child does so and so it is imperative that the nintendo be taken away, or, the child knows immediately that you are just crying wolf and the bad behavior will continue to escalate. Same applied to my exabf, he only understood actions, he could never grasp cause and effect.

Pamper yourself tonight, and keep posting!

fedup3

Hang in there, this could be the best thing you could do for yourself and for him.

My prayers are out to you.

lovelifetga

I admire the strength you had to stick to your guns. I'm afraid of doing that exact thing because I don't want to feel any more pain than I already do. You did the right thing and I hope it gets better for you AND him.

wister

Trust me if I had now how it would feel I doubt I would have gotten up the courage.

It has been a very long day. Longer than any of the day when he was in rehab at least then I knew what was going on with him.


dollydo - I am about to have a whole bunch of chocolate!

fedup3 - I sure hope it is good for the both of us.