returntonormal

I wanted to jump in and add that my husband said the same thing for years, that I was crazy, blaming him for issues I have with my AF, blowing things out of proportion, and making things worse for everyone else in the family. I was the kill joy, the control freak, and wouldn't be happy unless everyone did what I wanted. Also, that he drank because we never have sex, don't do anything fun, our life is boring. ETC. I could go on and on.

I only recently realized that for the past year I've felt like Chicken Little. I've been saying that the sky is falling, only to continuously hear that I'm wrong. This feeling is worse than the drinking in my opinion - to feel crazy because your SO is telling you that your feelings and perceptions are wrong. It threw me off balance for a long time and led me to doubt myself, and what I saw with my own eyes. It's taken a long time to rebuild trust in myself and my reactions.

The other point I wanted to make is that the Verbal Abuse you're experiencing is following the typical pattern of abuse - nice guy --> a$$hole. While my husband was also only abusive when he was wasted, it is NOT okay and ultimately it's not caused by the alcohol. It is just as damaging to your spirit and well-being as physical abuse. I highly recommend reading the book "Why Does He Do That?" as it really gave me some perspective. Also - know that you can seek help; I called 911 one night when my AH wouldn't stop yelling. It sorted things out and showed my kids that it wasn't normal or okay for their father to do that.

I wish you peace on your journey. I've found so much support on SR.