Can't. Take. The. Loneliness.

Old 08-07-2011, 03:51 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
I'm no angel!
dollydo's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Soooo, make a new circle of friends, you have to decide, are you going to be proactive or inactive?

You hold the key to your future happiness in the palm of your hand, it is totally up to you, whether to sit in a dark room by yourself or use the key to open a new door, one filled with light and happiness. What is your choice?
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Old 08-07-2011, 05:20 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Western US
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by barelysurviving View Post

I feel bad, I sound like a real psycho. But, I'm the one with the good job, the degree, the friends....etc.....but he makes it like I'm just a garbage human being. I've read about abuse, how the abuser wants to make us feel unworthy, all of that....but I never read about them coming right out and saying the things mine nobody will ever want you, you piece of crap......etc. It's bizarre. I ask why, over and over in my mind....never an answer. Thanks for the support. I feel bad, these boards make me sound clinically bonkers.
A couple of weeks someone said to me (I am sorry I cannot recall who) that my XABF was a Nothing Man who wanted a Something Woman (me). That stuck with me and every time I think of his BS I think of those words. He told me the dame thing. I was could never be more than a B or C or wherever and no man would ever want to go out with me, blah, blah.

I pass those words on to you now :day6
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StarCat (08-07-2011)
Old 08-08-2011, 12:52 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 187
One thing that I have come to believe through therapy is that alcoholism and verbal abuse are two very separate issues. A man isn't abusive because he is drinking, he is abusive because he is abusive. A huge amount of men drink alcohol, some alcoholics, some not but a lot of these men have a deep rooted moral and values core where they know right from wrong. They know that it is not acceptable to abuse woman, so dont do it, whether they are under the influence or not. They are happy drunks, or sleepy drunks or just use self control."

I wonder about this a lot. Is the abuse a symptom of addiction? Is it totally separate? They say the addiction is merely a symptom of something else, and sometimes I wonder if the abusive addicts are suffering from personality disorders or other mental illnesses and the abuse comes from that and is simply triggered by the alcohol/drugs.
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