ValJester

Reflecting on a (sober) evening with some new friends my wife remarked that it was nice to be with people who actually wanted to be with her.

Presumably she was contrasting that with being with me and, perhaps, I do sometimes show up for the daily dealings with all the joyful anticipation of starting a minor dental procedure.

I hid my own inner thought of wow, i am listening to a child here. But then more seriously I thought to myself that she may actually believe that there is something wrong with me for not being as enthusiastic for her company as the new friend.

Once in a Family program session at my wife’s rehab one of the facilitators commented that we co-dependents are sometimes our own worst critics. I put it out there that my wife gave me a pretty good run for my money on that one.

Freedom1990

Of course a new friend would be more enthusiastic, not having had to live with your AW.

Don't let her barbed comments get you down.

SoloMio

Congratulations for biting your lip! Tough isn't it... I related: I get a variation of this all the time: "People LIKE me! You're the only one who doesn't like me."

Lotus2009

You wrote "Presumably she was contrasting that with being with me." If she never flat out said that she had a problem with your lack of enthusiasm at times, then why worry about it? I would just leave it at "I'm glad you are enjoying the company of new friends" period. If she has a problem with you, she can have a constructive adult-like conversation with you about it. If she doesn't do that you can just assume that she doesn't have a problem with the way you are acting and go about your business as usual, without criticizing yourself over something she may or may not have hinted at. Just my thoughts on this.

Good on you for not engaging. Enjoy the rest of your weekend

skippernlilg

I was thinking the same thing as Lotus. I think detaching includes not getting offended at things that may or may not be about you. Harder to act upon than to think through, though, I know. My stomach would've tightened at that one, I think, if XABF said it.

But realistically, it may be that she just meant she's felt bad about herself and uncertain around other people that it was nice not to feel uncertain in a social situation. I know I've felt that way before too. But you don't know unless she tells you straight up, and that's a reasonable way for her to act if she is sincerely having a problem with something you've done.