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Trying to make sense of A's thought processes...impossible??

Old 07-29-2011, 09:13 AM
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Also, I think the title of this thread should be changed to:

"Making sense of MY thought processes....impossible??"
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Old 07-29-2011, 09:18 AM
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I would just move on across country like you planned and leave the rest behind.
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Old 07-29-2011, 09:25 AM
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I can tell you, from my own experience, NO CONTACT is the BEST way to mend your heart and move on! I tried being friends with my XABF and it kept me in uproar and "thinking about him" more than was good my my own healing! Our contact problems were over visitation rights to our dog..... not a ring.... and it was his way to keep his foot in the door.
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Old 07-29-2011, 09:46 AM
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Bruingirl, all this with your XABF, how does it help your recovery?

Your friend,
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Old 07-29-2011, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted by bruingirl View Post
A big portion of the above feelings I think are related to him being with new GF. I'm not sure if I would feel okay personally forgiving him and being friends with him if he is with the person he cheated on me with? How would you all feel? Would you be able to stay on good terms with someone who did that?
Absolutely not.

When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will do something different, yes?

Sending you hugs of support.
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Old 07-29-2011, 03:17 PM
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Well, I've been giving myself a lot of thought lately (hence the other post too), and I think that all of my problems filter into the main desire I have for companionship.

I think the part of me that finds it hard to let go of XABF and wants him in my life desires his company above all. Even though we had our really bad times, he truly is the single person that understands me more than anyone. The first true companion in life I've ever felt I had, including out of family. We grew up together and were close friends before we dated so it is hard to see the way that things have gone.

I feel lonely and weak. I'm not happy in life feeling like it's me against the world and there is no one on my side to hold my hand. It's so exhausting to try to convince myself that I am okay alone. I'm just tired of it.
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Old 07-29-2011, 03:20 PM
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Also, just wanted to point out that I don't seek companionship of XABF as a bf at ALL. Rather, I just miss the close friend I had.
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Old 07-29-2011, 03:34 PM
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The past can never be recreated, it is over, people change, relationships change, some dissolve, it is all part of life, part of the growing process.

He has moved on, he has a new companion/friend.

Why are you afraid to be alone? What is holding you back from going out and making new friends, a new best buddy? Possibly there is some deeper rooted problem that may need to be addressed. I don't have any answers, just questions.

I have learned that I need to be the person who understands me....better than anyone else....with that understanding I can continue to grow and enhance my well being.
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Old 07-29-2011, 07:55 PM
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There is NO process in thought where alcohol is concerned.
I tried to put the words "making sense" and "alcoholic's thought processes" together, and it made no sense at all.

I threw a Rubiks Cube into the garbage some years back, as trying to work that out drove me nuts....but, I'd rather sit and try it again (for a week or two) than go thru the stress and hell of trying to figure out the addled A brain, and how they think.
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Old 08-01-2011, 12:41 AM
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Originally Posted by dollydo View Post
He has moved on, he has a new companion/friend.
I would not say this man is "moving on". More like, progressing in his addiction and keeping it up by getting another enabler.

Alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.
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Old 08-01-2011, 12:50 AM
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I miss my good friend too

We have to keep walking. There are new friends to make and new experiences to enjoy and to learn from, ahead of us.
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