CheekyAngel

Hi, havnt been on here in a while coz things have been going well in my life. Im not sure what to do about my mother. If any of you read my past post you will know that she hasnt been well at all. She was made go in for several tests and scans and she is getting the results in the next few days. Thats all good, BUT she has fallen down the staires. My sister went down to her earlier to see how she was and i was told that she has a huge cut down her right arm, her knee-cap is swollen and looks out of place, and her (already bad foot) has swelled up like a baloon and is now massive.

Im have been talking to her on the phone to see how she is and of course her stubberness makes her say to me shes fine, when obviouisly shes not. Im not sure if i should go down to visit her or not. I asked her did she think she needed to go down to the doctor or hospital and she said no. She says she slipped but i know thats an excuse and she was hammered. But what do i do?

Do i go down to see how she is? I know she will apprichate a visit from me but i do not like the circumstance of why i am going down. I feel within me that i want to see how she is and does she need to take a trip to the hospital, but i cant help but think she doesnt deserve my care and i shouldnt go down to her. Im also not sure if that is self-fish on my part if i dont go down.

I feel sad for my sister because she jumped when she heard this and ran to my mothers care and she has taken over the behaviours i used to play, caring for her and i DO NOT like thinking that she has taken this role. I have learned so much and do not jump when shes needs me to, but i dont want my sis to do this either and feel that i should step in so my sis does not be damaged anymore from her mother.

Advice apprichated.

Fandy

your mother is conscious and talking in a coherent manner....if she is in enough pain she can dial for an ambulance to take her to the ER...if she can't take herself to the bathroom, who is going to? your sister? you?

she's an adult and she is going to need to get around....even if it is to the fridge to get a drink....or does she just want attention?

you have to decide or better yet she does. on a Sunday evening she will sit in the ER until the doctor on call gets there, if something is broken and it's not emergent she will wait until Monday....but she can get x-rays and be elevated in the hospital.

Freedom1990

You asked her if she needed to go to the doctor or hospital, and she said no.

She's an adult, and if she doesn't want her injuries treated, there's not much you can do, no?

m1k3

I have to agree with freedom. The same goes for your sister as well. They are both adults and can manage their own lives.

Your friend,

CheekyAngel

I understand she is an adult and i have stepped far back from helping her when she needs/causes it...but my sis is not in the same place as i am and that is hard to handle. I try to explain to my sis all the stuff that has been said but she thinks that i just dont care.

I got a msg of her there a while after i posted this and she said "im just saying that i cannot look after mam on my own. That conversation we had just shows you dont care. I dont care what mam has done in the past but nobody deserves to be in pain like this. She cant even pick up the ashtray. She is mam and even if she doesnt go to get checked im defo gona not walk out and leave her ****** die like. I just dont get why its up to me. You could have at least offered earlier if i needed any help with getting her shopping or looking after her. If your just gona give me the bullsh!t about her taking an active or her life not me or whatever. Dont bother because im actully fed up in general"

That msg hurts me. I take care and look out for my sister and i just want to take her away from the situations she is putting herself in. I know i cant, all i can do is pass on the information, education and experiences i hold and then the choice is up to her. But she doesnt see the choices that she are making are the bad ones. I want to help her but i think, will i ever be able to make her realise that what she is doing is unhealthy for her? Or do i have to wait for her to be 'ready'? I would love for her to 'get it' but she thinks all i talk is crap and that i dont care. I defo do care, i care very much so but my MH cannot deal with dealing with my mother and for that reason i keep my distance and my sis feels alone in this situation becoz my mother has nobody there for her and i dont want my sis to feel alone but i dont know what to do about it, for her and my sake, never mind my mother. She has told me that she is going to have to spend the next few days there to care for mum and i feel sad for her.

Thanks for the replies. I dont really care about my mothers situation now really but i do very much so care for my sister. She is young, vunurable and suffers with MH difficulties, as do i and i want to lead my sis in the right direction. But i guess i am just powerless, aeh!

and sorry for the rant

Fandy

your mother can't pick up the ashtray????? well alrighty then, she has issues with her arm, elbow, humoures, perhaps something is BROKEN...someone who can dial the phone can(you or your sister) call an ambulance to drive her to the hospital where TRAINED PROFESSIONALS can deal with her injuries and assess what is really wrong with her....without big emotional drama.

hopefully just some bruising...but it is not for you or your sister to judge...