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Impending doom

Old 07-21-2011, 08:52 AM
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Impending doom

Don't now why I have this feeling today. I woke up feeling that way and my stomach has been queazy all morning. It might be the heat. It might be that I am home alone-my son is overseas for a month. I have a full day ahead and was looking forward to socializing. I have been obsessing about AH and have spent a great deal of time on the board and even thought I have found so much strength and wisdom here sometimes it is not good for me either. It can be like reality TV-getting involved in other people's drama as a way of escaping your own. I wanted to text my AH to ask him to be careful in the extreme heat. But I am really trying to keep NC. I just wish this feeling would leave me. I did my readings. I am going to try to make a meeting later tonight. I am not usually an anxious person but it seems to be happening more often. Any ideas?
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by jamaicamecrazy View Post
... and have spent a great deal of time on the board and even though I have found so much strength and wisdom here sometimes it is not good for me either. It can be like reality TV-getting involved in other people's drama as a way of escaping your own.
Yes, I think I'm doing this too!

It started as a quest for insight and information and I've taken it too far. I need to read less and digest more.

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Old 07-21-2011, 09:08 AM
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I hate that feeling also. I have 2 approaches for handling that.

One is to take a break and see if there is something I am supposed to be dealing with today or in the near future that I am uncomfortable with or maybe my HP is reminding me of something I have forgotten.

The second is to simply sit and count breaths. That often works at reducing the anxiety and bring me back to the hear and now.

Hope this helps and good luck with today.

((((hugs))))
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:29 AM
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I agree. This site has been invaluable to me as well. Lately, however, I have withdrawn from it significantly. I am in a better place now, and this board can really trigger bad feelings for me at times! I love everyone here and still care and check in from time to time, but I really have to distance myself right now!
One day at a time......
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:43 AM
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Whenever I get an unexplained negative feeling it helps to remember that feelings aren't facts.
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:43 AM
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I agree with the comment about the board. I'd like there to be more threads that deal with working a program of recovery. I'd like to see more focus on recovery.

The "what do I do, how do I handle this, he did this" posts are what got us all here. I'd just like a clear path to stay with SR, continue to support the newcomers and proceed with my own recovery. Any thoughts?
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Old 07-21-2011, 10:26 AM
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Roxie, I'm not sure I follow. I find so much here that is useful for my recovery and often in the threads where I least expect it.

There are plenty of newcomer support threads, sharing threads and help how do i handle this threads. There are also some less serious threads as well because humor is a great tool of recovery. I never know where I will find something useful.

As the saying goes, take what you want and leave the rest.

Your friend,
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Old 07-21-2011, 11:27 AM
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This site has been tremendously helpful to me, also, especially on the days when I find myself really missing my friend. I fight the urge to fire off an email to him, and instead I come here (and to the other boards like New to Recovery and Alcoholism) to read and learn.

As to the OP about impending doom, I get those feelings, too, and they are hard to shake. I try to shift my focus to something positive that's going on around me and take things slowly. Good luck today!
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Old 07-21-2011, 11:49 AM
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Take a deep breathe!!! focus on today or this minute only
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Old 07-21-2011, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by jamaicamecrazy View Post
I am not usually an anxious person but it seems to be happening more often. Any ideas?

YOU and this board have been so inspirational to me. YOU and this board were my lifeline when I thought I was at my lowest point, not getting out of bed for days! Your compassion, suggestions, and yes, humor have been so trememdously helpful in pointing me in the right direction!! You are strong and can get through whatever this is. I am sending mega positive thoughts your way.



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Old 07-21-2011, 05:49 PM
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jamaica-

For myself I struggle with any "negative" feelings sometimes. They are hard and I am working on removing the stigma in my own heart about them.

That was not the point of my post though...it was this. For me I am learning that acknowledging them and being with them helps me to move through them faster. I used to try to stuff, deflect and "not deal" with them. I had a very stressful incident two weeks ago. It threw me into a tizzy, and I noticed myself getting depressed. A year ago I would have tried to not feel it but would have gotten busy, gotten flippant and struggled for a long time (months probably) with those feelings as they bubbled up. This time I realized what I was feeling (depressed), did NOTHING for two days but sleep, cry, watch TV, read trashy books, neglected my lawn etc. By the middle of this week the stress was starting to let down and I am feeling more calm etc.

I don't know how actually feeling stuff helps, but for me it does. Maybe it is partially being honest and/or out of denial with myself.
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Old 07-21-2011, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by LifeRecovery View Post
I don't know how actually feeling stuff helps, but for me it does. Maybe it is partially being honest and/or out of denial with myself.
Oh, yeah.

I know when I first got SOBER, it was the FEELING of the feelings that was the hardest to get used to. And I know I found other escape routes when I was living with the alcoholic. Denial is SO much comfier. Or so it seems. Once you learn that you aren't going to drop dead from the feelings, that you actually ARE strong enough to feel them, process them, possibly do something about them, heck, that's when recovery starts looking like a GOOD deal.
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Old 07-22-2011, 07:29 AM
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Thank You all for the support and suggestions. I have allowed myself more time to "feel" all the feelings that I was too busy to feel before. Or that were just too icky for me to feel. Stuffing all those feelings is what I realized made me a very angry person. So I was gentle with myself and laid low.
I also realized that I have not spent much time thinking about what I am grateful for. Last summer it was like I was seeing many things for the first time and I felt grateful for the opportunities, and friends who were supporting me. This year I feel as though I have not made an effort to look at all I have going on. I need to focus on that a little more.
I ended up not spending the day on the board, I met friends from work in the afternoon. I went to a pot luck dinner where I knew only a few people and had good food and good conversation with folks I had never met. I even managed to make it to an Al ANon meeting-one that I haven't been to in a while. After the meeting I had the chance to talk to someone for a while. A total stranger that liked what I had to say and had similar experiences.
When things like this happen I always take it as a sign that my HP is looking out for me and letting me know that things will be ok.
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