24Years

I think you mean pay attention to what she does and not what she says. (?)

StarCat

Have you gotten to the "drive to the parking lot and sit there in your car" stage, yet? I'm sure at least half of the Al-Anon people here have gone through that stage.

Heck, my first meeting I decided to drive to the parking lot and try to take up the entire meeting time with a project to return my spare tire to its rightful place in the trunk. I had driven with that tire bouncing around for months, but that night it was extremely important to put it away in the trunk.

It takes a lot of courage to go to that first meeting.
The second meeting is easy.

ValJester

Thanks a million everyone for sharing your thoughts. Don't know what I'd do without you.

I do have to keep in mind the effect on children as we go through this in and out of the house. They must come before my wife.

My children are both lucky in that they fully understand the disease (even the 6 year old) so whilst it is painful, they know it is nothing to do with whether or not mom loves them, just that she is struggling with dealing with the sickness of addiction.

TakingCharge999

If ever...

TakingCharge999

ValJester sorry if I missed this but are you going to therapy?

If it were for me, everyone would go to therapy... it has been my #1 source of sanity...

So we have a deeply troubled woman who is manipulative (consciously or not), alcoholic, suicidal. I do not think a 6 year old is going to grasp this. Honestly..? it looks like you are minimizing the damage done to your kids. I would send them to a child therapist.

I have never married, nor have kids, and I don't have a degree on psychology either, I write this because I am back to therapy and am seeing very clearly how events that happened when I was 3 still have a huge negative impact in my life (I am 29..)...

Just my 2 cents.

All the best during this difficult time

ValJester

Thanks TC999,

I have a few supports other than Al-Anon and SR. A regular therapist and another at a addiction treatment centre who helps Freinds and Families of As.

I saw both of them right after this week's events and have had great encouragement that I am making the right choices for me and my kids, and to an extent, my wife.

My little one does not know about the suicide talks, obviously. She does understand about alcoholism, however. Both my kids have had a lot of therapy and councelling. It has worked wonders. The younger one did 'Expressive Play' a 6 session Sandbox treatment. The older one has only had a couple of regular therapist sessions.

Thanks again. Take care.