lilywills

Hi there. I'm new to this site and feel a bit strange begging strangers for answers but I'm really really hoping someone can help as I've reached a stage of slight desperation! About nine months ago I broke off with my best friend of many years. She had become an alcoholic and her behaviour had become abusive, psychotic, dangerous and suicidal. She blamed everything but the drink and invented health/mental health disorders to blame her behaviour on, which had me convinced for about two years until I finally realised what was really going on. Breaking it off was the hardest thing I've had to do as we were soul mates, each other's absolute supports and now I'm left with no support system and no best friend. It's a huge loss as I forewent marriage and relationships due to the emotional strain they cause, yet ended up getting closer to my friend than I ever had a partner, and the loss has been massive for me. I'm still picking up the pieces and wondering how on earth to move on. I'm sure there are many out there who have had a similar experience with losing someone fabulous to an addiction. I don't even know what my question would be, other than how do you cope? Are there any tips on how to let go and get over the emotional scars from the abuse, manipulation and evil behaviour? I still feel afflicted by it and don't think I will ever let anyone else into my life ever again, no matter how lonely I get. I don't want to go through this again. Any advice would be deeply appreciated.

LexieCat

My best advice is: go to Al-Anon! It's a great resource for recovering from the effects of someone else's alcoholism, whether that person is still in your life or not.

You will find that most of the members are there because of a spouse, partner, child, or parent, but close friends are definitely affected by drinking, and are definitely welcome as members.

Stick around here, too. There is lots of wisdom on these boards.

m1k3

I am going to second what Lexie said. Al-anon is a life saver and so is this forum.

I recently separated from my AW. We were married 36 years and she was an active alcoholic 15 of them. I understand the pain you are going through. Al-anon has provided me the tools to detach, begin my own recovery and move on with my life in a healthier way.

So lillywills welcome to SR and I'm sorry you are going through what you are going through.

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family Lillywills!

I'm glad you are here, but sorry about the hurt that brought you to these pages. You will find information and support here. We understand.

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. The top of this forum page contains sticky (permanent ) posts that offer wisdom and advice.

This is one post from the top that contains information about Alanon meetings:

First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery