Freedom1990

The past few days I've been grieving, and have come to realize I've had blinders on in regards to my home AA group for some time now, and also to some people in the group.

It's painful, this awareness, you know?

Anyway, I am trying my best to be gentle with myself, and accept the fact it is going to take some time to be able to open up around others without fear of being torn apart. I'm protecting my vulnerability right now.

I was talking to a friend in California today about what happened, and he sent me a quote that was so appropriate I have it in my signature here at SR now.

It will be a long time before I forget my supposed friends' silence at that meeting.

On a more positive note, the one gentleman who cared enough to call and check on me after that fiasco called again today. He wanted to know if it was still on for me to ride with him tomorrow to his AA group out of town. I told him I was very much looking forward to it!

LexieCat

Yeah, it hurts when you feel like those you should be able to count on don't have your back the way you thought they would.

I try to remember that when *I* need to speak up. We don't all have to agree, but it's still good to have someone defend our right to take a position.

Hope your meeting tomorrow is good.

Hugs,

Pelican

Sending encouragement, support and (((Hugs)))

laurie6781

I personally think that maybe, just maybe HP gave you a GREAT "God Shot" to get you
out of your stagnation and once again moving forward.

You've talked, (privately) both on the phone and in emails about your personal dis-
satisfaction with your sponsor and your 'home group' for quite some time now, lol

I do believe HP said 'enough' let's get Devon moving forward again.

When this happens to me, I always say: "Well HP had to get the 2 x 4 out and once
again hit me across the forehead to get my attention."

What did your HP hit you with?

You know me, 'blunt as usual', rofl

This will pass, and whether they know it or not, those folks in your home group have
lost a very dynamic positive force to their group. Their problem, not yours!

Lots of love and bunches of hugs,

TakingCharge999

Yeah its definitely their loss.

Perhaps you made them see things they don't want to see.

When I was hurting, you made me confront many ugly truths.. but hey I thought that is why people go to group therapies and rooms?? I mean if people want to have coffee and talk about the weather they can go anywhere else.



Anyway, hope there are wiser people in the new meeting!

Impurrfect

(((DeVon))) - LOVE the new signature quote. Makes me think

Thinking about how ((Laurie)) put it, yeah, some of those God shots are really great, some hurt, but I believe they always are for our good.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

Freedom1990

I needed to read this today. I think what bothers me more than anything is wondering what will happen to the occasional female who will inevitably trickle into that group?

As you said, it's their problem and not mine.

I continue to pray for all of them because that's the only way to keep from getting a big fat hairy resentment, which I cannot afford to have!

TakingCharge999

I "combat" resentment by feeling grateful I never have to hear or see some people again! YAY!!