harley79

Where to begin. my husband and I have been married for 13 yrs we were sober for 8 of those years but a few years ago after our third child we jumped off the wagon. Everything was fine then we didn't go off the deep end. Last year my husband had neck surgery and was put on percs 30mg.
Since then he has realized he is dependant on them and asked the Dr. to lower his dose as to eventually ween off of them. My husbands drinking has really progressed and I as of last week stopped drinking because I don't want my kids to have to deal with 2 buzzed parents. My husband is now drinking on his percs and he gets all messed up. He is a sweet loving man and he never gets vioelent or nasty when he is messed up. I just hate to see him this way..

What can I do I hate when he drinks and that is everynight

Tammy

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Congrats on your own sober thinking and acting!

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
You are not alone. We understand.

You may be what we call a double winner. There are several of us here on this forum. We have halted our own addictive behavior and sought recovery. We have also begun the process of recovering from living with active addiction from our loved one.

Hi, I'm known as Pelican and I am a recovering alcoholic.
I am also recovering from living with active alcoholism in my home by my husband.

SR has helped me with both areas of my recovery. Here is a sticky post (permanent posts at the top of the pages) that contains steps that helped me while living with a loved ones addiction.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Pelican

I understand.
I too dreaded when he came home (having drank on the way home) and settled down for the night with tv and beer.

My A wanted me to sit with him while he watched tv and mindlessly consumed alcohol and flipped through channels.

I started reading books on self-improvement and alcoholism. One of the first books I read was "Under the Influence" we have excerpts from that book posted here at this site. I also re-read "Codependent No More". I needed some quiet while reading so I would excuse myself to go read in bed.

Those two books worked like bug repellent , my A didn't want to be around me when I was reading that "crap".

We also had a family computer set up in a back room. I spent many, many nights online here at SR reading, reading and occassionally posting.

I also needed a way to physically vent my anger and frustration. I took up power walking (and still do this today). I put on tennis shoes and start walking the neighborhood at a fast pace. I usually cover at least a mile and release alot of unexpressed anger/frustration. (Then I need a shower - more alone time)

All those steps were steps that helped me to detach from his actions. I could remove myself from his drinking and try to focus on my needs.

harley79

thank You so much Pelican for the great advice I just miss my husband when he was sober I hate that he is drinking now. He is a wonderful man and I am just afraid teh addiction of alcohol and percs will take over his life. He knows he is an addict so he at least admits it..

Tammy

Freedom1990

It may very well take over his life.

Those kids need one stable and present parent, and he's not it.

You can't control what he does, but you can control what you do.

Please take good care of yourself and those precious children.

Ogilve

Hi Harley, I'm new here as well, so I'm not sure I have any advice. I just wanted to say I admire you for being able to be honest with yourself, about your own issues and your husband's. It's a big step, just seeing there is a problem, and you've done that. Good start.