My update: He's moved out and we're divorcing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 277
My update: He's moved out and we're divorcing
So AH is finally out of the house, moved about 20 minutes away, and there is just a sense of peace for me and my teenage son that is indescribable. We had the talk with our son on Sunday about us getting divorced. My son was blue but said it was no surprise, and when he thought about, probably the best outcome.
We did not mention the affair and he did not ask and it's just fine the way it is.
Prior to that, my AH asked if it could just be a separation. Really, with me sleeping in the guest bedroom, it feels like we already tried that and look where it lead. I did try one last gasp, "Will you to rehab?" - and he refused.
I want to thank all of you for your stories because without them I think I may still be in hell. It feels like we're finding out way out. I know it won't be easy but at least it will be different. Worse 2 years of my life. I know we deserve better.
Should I change my username?
We did not mention the affair and he did not ask and it's just fine the way it is.
Prior to that, my AH asked if it could just be a separation. Really, with me sleeping in the guest bedroom, it feels like we already tried that and look where it lead. I did try one last gasp, "Will you to rehab?" - and he refused.
I want to thank all of you for your stories because without them I think I may still be in hell. It feels like we're finding out way out. I know it won't be easy but at least it will be different. Worse 2 years of my life. I know we deserve better.
Should I change my username?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
"It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have."
Dear Sugar on the rumpus.net, talking to a man who is grieving a great loss. It really spoke to me, and your post this morning caused it to come to mind. You are indeed finding your way out. ((hugs)) It isn't easy, but it is worth it.
Dear Sugar on the rumpus.net, talking to a man who is grieving a great loss. It really spoke to me, and your post this morning caused it to come to mind. You are indeed finding your way out. ((hugs)) It isn't easy, but it is worth it.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Good for you and your son on your peaceful home.
When my 1st wife and I split she wanted a trial separation but I had good reason to want a legally binding separation document intended to protect me financially as much as possible. We separated all our finances and settled legal and physical custody issues before she moved out and thank gawd because it turned out to be a really smart move. *hint*
When my 1st wife and I split she wanted a trial separation but I had good reason to want a legally binding separation document intended to protect me financially as much as possible. We separated all our finances and settled legal and physical custody issues before she moved out and thank gawd because it turned out to be a really smart move. *hint*
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so glad things are settling down, and that you didn't have to have an awkward conversation with your son at this moment. Someday he may ask, and you can decide what to tell him. For right now, his world is already rocked a bit, so best he doesn't have to deal with the other issue as well. I think most of us can only process so many emotions at one time--effectively, anyway.
I think a new user name would be awesome. Are you taking suggestions? How about "NewHorizons"?
I think a new user name would be awesome. Are you taking suggestions? How about "NewHorizons"?
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