feeling better
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 140
feeling better
Hi friends haven't posted lately....been stuck, in it all.
Well things are looking up...and my depression is lifting.
I still focusing on the steps although I do feel that they are working me...
Self....inventory....thats what has me down.....I am really dissipointed in myself.
I lost myself now I have to find my self again.
don't have much time right now....daughter called from school....6yrs..not feeling well and I have to go pick her up....figures it's the only day I don't have the car....so I had to call a favour on a friend....
take care
Sally
Well things are looking up...and my depression is lifting.
I still focusing on the steps although I do feel that they are working me...
Self....inventory....thats what has me down.....I am really dissipointed in myself.
I lost myself now I have to find my self again.
don't have much time right now....daughter called from school....6yrs..not feeling well and I have to go pick her up....figures it's the only day I don't have the car....so I had to call a favour on a friend....
take care
Sally
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Glad you checked in and
glad you're feeling a bit better. You will find yourself again. Just remember that you are your own best friend. Have you ever seen the Disney movie "The Kid"? (If not, I highly recommend it). When I'm feeling out of touch, I check in with the "ten-year-old" me. She always has interesting things to say.
Hugs to you Sally.
Peace,
Gabe
Hugs to you Sally.
Peace,
Gabe
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 140
Thanks Gabe
It was nice to read your reply, I've been dealing with alot of stuff lately, I am stressed out about Christmas, the financial aspect of it. I am on the search for a baby sitter for after school care, so I can return back to work....that has me really stressed out.....
I almost hate the Idea of returning to work....I'm not sure if I should look for something else.....I alway's get paralized when I have a huge decision to make.....Anxiety....hate changes..panic...my biggist obstacle is working around my A....
I don't feel comfortable leaving the children in his care at ALL.
I guess I feel like I'll be losing control, if Iam stuck at work....silly ah....but I worry about the kids.
And I don't want to seem like an unstable Idiot at my work place....but I'am always waiting for the bomb to drop...anyone else know that feeling.
regards
Sally
I almost hate the Idea of returning to work....I'm not sure if I should look for something else.....I alway's get paralized when I have a huge decision to make.....Anxiety....hate changes..panic...my biggist obstacle is working around my A....
I don't feel comfortable leaving the children in his care at ALL.
I guess I feel like I'll be losing control, if Iam stuck at work....silly ah....but I worry about the kids.
And I don't want to seem like an unstable Idiot at my work place....but I'am always waiting for the bomb to drop...anyone else know that feeling.
regards
Sally
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
YES!! that feeling ran my life for years....FINALLY I ditched it!! Not to say that things don't happen, but I have removed myself from them. NO.....I didn't leave and neither did he......I drew the boundaries what I COULD live with and have really tried to stick with them. Finding those boundaries was difficult and took time...one step at a time. Sounds like that is what you are doing...you don't feel comfortible with the children staying with him so you are making other arrangements. Great choice!! As the steps are put into place you will feel better.
Glad that you are feeling better than before. Christmas is tough, but remember why we celebrate Christmas....it can really put things into perspective. Gifts are nice, but sharing ourselves, our love and friendship is better.
Blessings,
Constant
Glad that you are feeling better than before. Christmas is tough, but remember why we celebrate Christmas....it can really put things into perspective. Gifts are nice, but sharing ourselves, our love and friendship is better.
Blessings,
Constant
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 413
Just my opinion but I think getting a job will GIVE you control. If you have your own money youll be able to leave if you want to. And if your staying in the relationship it will be because you want to not because you cant afford to be on your own. Have your own money can be very empowering.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Hon,
If you have to go to work you have to go to work. I wish all Mom's could stay at home but we can't. And even in the 30's and 40's a lot of mom's had husbands the could not or would not provide. At least today we have choices.
Take care of you and your children.
Hugs,
JT
If you have to go to work you have to go to work. I wish all Mom's could stay at home but we can't. And even in the 30's and 40's a lot of mom's had husbands the could not or would not provide. At least today we have choices.
Take care of you and your children.
Hugs,
JT
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 140
thanks so much advise taken
you're all right and I so appreciate your imput.( About the ten year old in me).....I feel as if the 10 yr old in me is running the show. I have drew back into my schell and I so don't want to come out again.
I do have to work, thats the way the ball bounces.....and I have to get off my duff and step up to the plate.
Yes the independence is awsume, and very impowering.
Family is very important over the holiday's and thats what has got me sick to my stomach.....because of my relationship problems....spliting up.....ext.....(Jerry Springer type stuff) my family is very akward this year.....I don't want any part of it.
Things are tense on both sides, and I am tired of feeling Humiliated.......
I feel like the whole world is against me......and I just want to block them all out....Iam tired of listening to their unwanted advice, their pityful looks,. I just want everyone to back-off and leave me alone.
So that's not exactly the Christmas Spirit.
It's weird Iam angry with the people that were their for me during our separation for not understanding the pain...and pushing me....I LET OTHER PEOPLE DIRECT MY LIFE....I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT.......AND I WAS SO STRESSED AND VULNERABLE...I FELT I COULDN'T THINK CLEARLY FOR MYSELF.
So Iam angry at them for putting their 2 cents in.
And Iam angry at the people that, turned their backs......on me.
So I guess Iam angry........at everyone.....
eeerrrr Grinch........
I do have to work, thats the way the ball bounces.....and I have to get off my duff and step up to the plate.
Yes the independence is awsume, and very impowering.
Family is very important over the holiday's and thats what has got me sick to my stomach.....because of my relationship problems....spliting up.....ext.....(Jerry Springer type stuff) my family is very akward this year.....I don't want any part of it.
Things are tense on both sides, and I am tired of feeling Humiliated.......
I feel like the whole world is against me......and I just want to block them all out....Iam tired of listening to their unwanted advice, their pityful looks,. I just want everyone to back-off and leave me alone.
So that's not exactly the Christmas Spirit.
It's weird Iam angry with the people that were their for me during our separation for not understanding the pain...and pushing me....I LET OTHER PEOPLE DIRECT MY LIFE....I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT.......AND I WAS SO STRESSED AND VULNERABLE...I FELT I COULDN'T THINK CLEARLY FOR MYSELF.
So Iam angry at them for putting their 2 cents in.
And Iam angry at the people that, turned their backs......on me.
So I guess Iam angry........at everyone.....
eeerrrr Grinch........
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Sally keep in touch with your sponsor, once you finish that inventory, burn it and move forward, remember your past but don't let it run your life.
I think that going back to work will be good for you.. I'm a teacher and dread going back after the summer, but once I'm back in the routine I find I'm liking myself a little bit more since it allow's me to take a break from MY kid's while helping someone elses. You'll be okay when back to work.
DON"T live beyond your means to just give gifts for Christmas.. I had a hard time learning to do this. Find a dollar store and by nice small little trinkets. I liked giving tree ornaments for friends and family when in dire straights over money. The gift comes from the heart.. better yet if your the crafty type.... make some simple little gift.. nothing better then those gifts made with TLC
Above all start taking better care of yourself! I know it has to be hard anticipating your A's next drink and drunk but YOU have to get better and not let him get the best of you.
Be well, be happy, find peace my friend.
I think that going back to work will be good for you.. I'm a teacher and dread going back after the summer, but once I'm back in the routine I find I'm liking myself a little bit more since it allow's me to take a break from MY kid's while helping someone elses. You'll be okay when back to work.
DON"T live beyond your means to just give gifts for Christmas.. I had a hard time learning to do this. Find a dollar store and by nice small little trinkets. I liked giving tree ornaments for friends and family when in dire straights over money. The gift comes from the heart.. better yet if your the crafty type.... make some simple little gift.. nothing better then those gifts made with TLC
Above all start taking better care of yourself! I know it has to be hard anticipating your A's next drink and drunk but YOU have to get better and not let him get the best of you.
Be well, be happy, find peace my friend.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
