TakingCharge999

So XABF had a very close friend. They still hang out for all I know. XABF had introduced me to him. He is a coworker. He was also there in the good times and met him when we were together and very much in love (insert sad violin music in the background). So he kind of witnessed the whole story.

When we broke up I was a mess and he approached me, I had no one, he let me vent but also said hurtful things about how he and his gf were very happy (talk about adding salt to the open scar!) and I was the only one feeling bad.. and other stupid things like that... later on I met this guy's girlfriend and at one point they suggested to me to have a threesome with them. Right. THAT will help my heart heal.. weird!

I declined and didn't speak to them again. I told the guy I needed to back off, he was too close to bad memories. He said he understood. All that was like, intermittent communication 2 years ago. Sometimes when I run into the guy at work we say hi and make small talk.

I erased him from Facebook along with other common contacts we had.

He sends me a message today saying "wow, and now you erase me from your facebook!"

1 do I need to do anything? or what would be a healthy response to that? I don't get his "and now" as if I had done something to upset him.


2 he is a coworker so I wouldn't like to end up in bad terms with him, although we seldom interact nowadays. I am erasing common coworkers precisely to avoid this kind of drama.

All this happened when I was in a place of pain and did not have any boundaries. And he was the only "contact" I had in the new city. I do not think he hopes bad things for me and he also seems healthier now...


How would you handle this? thanks for any input.

LexieCat

I would stay away from this weirdo. Just ignore the comment. You erased him long ago, and if he's only now noticing it, that's his problem. You don't owe him an explanation, and I don't see that anything good will come out of giving him one.

TakingCharge999

Thank you LexieCat. I can always count on your sanity!

I deleted the message.

Feels good to delete people, especially the ones that remind me of bad times.

I am deleting more now.

What to do if he asks in real life...?

Nirvana1

It is better to "block" people from facebook than to delete them. Scroll down on their page and click the "report/block" link on the bottom left side. When they are blocked they will never see your profile or anything you type. They will think that you deleted yours and it usually is never a problem. If they ever see you in person they might ask "did you get rid of your facebook?" Just say, "something like that" and move on.

Sylvie66

If he asks, you can say that you are keeping your professional and private lives separate. Then walk away.

- Sylvie

TakingCharge999

Blocked him too.
Thanks for the suggestions!

Serenity8

THIS. And block him too, which it looks like you already did.

Tuffgirl

The good thing about "what others think of me is none of my business" is that we don't owe them explanations for our choices and actions to protect ourselves, either!