Old 07-09-2011, 02:03 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: bay area, ca
Posts: 87

Logged in to wish Barb. And thought I would update everyone about my situation (AH refusing to leave home).

Kids are with my sister and BIL being pampered thoroughly and enjoying their camp (horseback riding, archery, hiking, swimming, canoing, etc). I am missing them a lot but am happy they are away from this situation, while I resolve things here.

After coming back from dropping my kids at my sister's (2 weeks ago) - I tried to convince/help AH to move to a studio. I did all the legwork, we even went to a couple of them to check it out but he kept dragging his feet. I aksed the lawyer to file the divorce last week, he was served on friday night. I am currently staying in a nice hotel for the weekend (wanted to be away for the weekend after he is served). Next step is to figure out how to make him move or me move out. Due to it being summer and the school district being one of the best in the area - I am finding it really difficult to find an apt in the same area as the kids' school (they have been going to this school for 4 years now). I even called the school district, explained my situation and asked if the kids can stay in same school even if we move out of the school area. They said essentially no guarantees - kids might have to move school if space is filled up (very good chance of this happening).

Not sure what is going to happen after I go back home. He called last night few times and left a message asking where I am and why I am not home and whether I am ok. I did not answer the calls but called in the morning and left a message back that I am ok and staying somewhere.

Planning to go to my first (actually my second, I tried one and didn't go after that) Alanon meeting tonite. Went to therapist last week and she said I need to really address my codependency issues and that it is ruining my life (something happened last week when I fell back badly into codependency - AH went to hotel for a night and called asking for help claiming that he lost his wallet. I let him badger me for help and finally helped him and now he is back home )
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Old 07-09-2011, 03:03 PM
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Sylvie66's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ashland Oregon
Posts: 256
This too shall pass. You're not in danger, the kids are having fun, and you have a plan. Have you thought about different scenarios and what your response could be for each, that would keep you grounded?

You may need legal help if you share ownership of a house, maybe someone else will come along with ideas.

Keep true to yourself.

- Sylvie
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Old 07-09-2011, 03:37 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I want to commend you, getting your children out of that toxic enviorment is so positive!
They sound like they are having a ball.

As for him leaving the house, I would tt to your attorney, they know all the ins and outs of how to legally handle that issue.

We all have little setbacks, you will be fine, keep moving forward.
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