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"Love me Not"

Old 07-05-2011, 11:03 AM
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"Love me Not"

I live with a RAH (several relapses and not working any programs).
We are no longer even on talking basis except around the kids due to him saying some really mean things to me. I feel, he doesn't take responsibility for his actions and still outwardly blames me for his past drinking (i know, untrue). He says he has no money to move out and that is the only thing keeping him at the home.
The "point of view from an abuser" fit alot in our relationship, past drinking behaviors and current sober behaviors as well also a narcissistic article fit his behaviors as well.
I started questioning "Did he ever love me" and when asked, he said probably NOT.
How did i MISS this very important part of this relationship?? For 14 years?? I didn't realize that he didn't even LOVE me!!!
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:28 AM
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FLsunshine, please don't beat yourself up he's probably saying that because he blames you that your the reason he can't drink. Remember his mind is always on alcohol whether he's drinking or not and obviously not on your relationship.
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:39 AM
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FLsunshine, ((((hugs))))

I've just separated from my wife of 36 years. The 1st 20 or so were pretty darn good the last 15 or 16 have been varying circles of hell.

Does she love me now. I don't think so. Did she love me at one time, yes, I'm very sure of it. I don't know at what point the love was replaced by alcohol, xanax and sleeping pills but it has been.

So, I'm willing to bet as some part he loved you. However today is what you have to deal with. So what are YOU going to do about it? Doesn't sound like you are getting much out of this relationship.

Your friend,
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