Sounds of life & death
 

So I got an eye infection and went to a hospital to have my eye checked.

There is a special area for eye related health issues..

So I was having some tests done and a man that was waiting to be called, falls to the floor. I thought he was having a seizure.

Then a fleet of doctors, nurses surrounds him... everyone else is shocked... I pay attention to his chest.. its not moving. They start resuscitation techniques, CPR, by that time they have him plugged to that machine that beeps with hearbeats... it sounds as if the man is gone... we are all listening. Then the beat comes back again and the man throws up, does all kind of deep guttural sounds - I gulp - it seems he is back... after a minute or so he is gone again and the scene repeats. By then the rest of the patients including myself were all pale - security had arrived and they had brought a stretcher for the man.. he comes back again, I had gone out for some fresh air.. he is put on the stretcher and the man passes by infront of me... they wait for the elevator to arrive and the man is gone again, the last scene I see is the doc doing CPR once again to him.

He was around 50.
They cleaned up and life continued in the eye clinic area as if nothing had happened.


I had never seen something like this in real life before, I have seen accidents etc. but not someone struggling between life and death... this was very impacting to me to say the least.



Fast forward to a night at home.. I am next to my sister who is breastfeeding her baby... quite a contrasting scene... I was paying attention to the desperate sounds he made to be fed, the expressions on his face. The end of a life, the start of a new one-


I am still trying to process through yesterday's events - thanks for letting me share here ..

"Will the circle...be unbroken..."

made me think of that song.

A front row seat to death tends to make one appreciate life all the more.

Sometimes the bad overshadows the good, but that should not be the case. Grab the joy while you may.
congratulations on that precious new life:)

hugs
chicory

About 17 years ago I had something very much like that happen in my life. My mom died of cancer 3 days after my first child was born. I can remember sitting and nursing my baby thinking the same thing... one life ends and a another begins. What a beautiful thing it is to have and to hold a new baby and give them life but also to know that someday it will end. That time in my life changed me. It made me far more understanding, loving, and to strive to make everyday the best I can make it, because we never know when our time will come. My mom was only 47.

(((TC))) - having been a nurse, I saw the life and death thing almost on a daily basis. It DOES affect you, or at least it did me. I also had a mom who was told she'd never live to see me turn 10 (heart problems when I was born). I was 29 when she died, but she grabbed every day as if it was a gift.

Through the decades of codie-ness, the few years of addiction, I think I lost that appreciation, but I have it, even more now. I'm trying to embrace that love of life my mom had. Still have my "in a funk" days, but they don't last, and I get back on track.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Thank you all for your responses-

Its 2AM and am watching baby sleep while my sis rests.

There is a nurse who should be doing that but she is also sleeping... good grief...

Coincidentally I am reading a book from Elisabeth Kubler Ross, and she says "It is very important for you to do what you really enjoy to do, only that way will you bless life when your death is near"

Death.. I am afraid of death, but more than that I am afraid of seeing my family suffer, and am afraid of my own suffering.

Today I had a "in a funk" day but tomorrow will be a new day.

Reminds one to not only appreciate the years but the minutes and seconds of life, doesn't it? :)

(((TC))) - as my mom and g'pa told their stories of their "after-life experiences", and seeing that they were not afraid of death, I have faith. Doesn't mean I have any intention of dying, soon, but hearing two extremely similar experiences from people I love dearly, I no longer fear death.

My mom needed a heart/lung transplant. She totally refused it..said "I've had a good life, and when it's my time to go, I will go". I don't think she could have said that had she not experienced what she did. She died at 50...the age I will be in September. Something about that makes me appreciate life even more.

Just my experience, but I've helped a lot of people ease into death, and there was always a look of peace.

I'm glad you're watching the baby (BAD nurse for being asleep!) but I think this treasure of the baby may change a few things in your way of thinking. I'm really glad you're getting to spend time with your sister and the baby.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

Thanks friends...

Today I enjoyed my day, just went to the park by myself... made some quick "aerobics" with like 200 assorted Thais, seniors, women of all ages and ethnic backgrounds... since I covered HALT I feel much better.

Impurrfect thank you for your post. And yes she is a bad nurse, I will tell my sister, she thinks she is the best nurse ever.

Your support is priceless ((HUGS))