ShockedGF

Since the thread got closed and the moderators won't answer the questions I sent to them, I'll post it here. I'm sure it won't last long - it'll get deleted like any other comment that calls into question the AA/Al Anon religion.

Apparently "Flaming" only includes disagreements with 12-steppers since it appears to be perfectly acceptable to the moderators to call someone who disagrees with them a "self centered bitch".

If you are seeking answers, be sure to investigate ALL the options. And always question anyone or any organization who claims they are the ONLY way!

Latte

I don't think that is it at all. This is a support forum and when the moderators feel that something is no longer being supportive it is time to lock the thread until things cool down. The moderators are carefully chosen here and I trust their judgement.

I think it's okay to come back to a topic after people have had a chance to think about the subject rather than to let it continue to get heated.

bruingirl

ShockedGF,

I also agree with latte and don't think that the thread was closed because of the alternate viewpoints emerging. I think they are good moderators too and closed the thread because they realized it was more arguing and less support that was being offered there. On a side note, I was just about to post a reply on the thread and when I hit "post" it was closed. Here's what I was going to say:

I knew looking at the title of this thread that it was bound to be one of the most posted because the title itself is so provocative. But I think that's just what the title was meant to read like, to be sensational. Not necessarily that the content itself would be as sensational.

Reading through the posts was a little shocking. I knew people were going to have strong opinions about it from the get-go, but not so much so that they would ridicule and dismiss alternate points of view.

It's sad because ultimately we are all fighting the SAME battle with a horrible, horrible disease. We have all felt or are feeling the pain caused by alcoholism. So why is there a need to break down either side for choosing the path that is working for them? For people that are supposed to be so open minded and introspective I find it to be a little backwards to be so quick to judge. That goes for both sides. Al-Anon or not, we should only be learning positive things from any of the paths that people decide to take and from there accepting which one may be right for us and not for others, or vice versa.

DesertEyes

There is a reason why we don't rush to answer your questions. We have tens of thousands of registered members, and many more who never register but just send us email asking for help. We have people thinking of suicide right this minute, we have women in fear for their lives right this minute, we have children texting us from a closet wondering what to do about daddy beating up mommy, we even have a handful of women texting us from under the bed covers.

So yes, we are kinda busy and we'll get to your questions as soon as we can.

No, it's not accepatble. And I'll get to that shortly. I've got more important things to handle right this minute and this thread is really distracting me.

That makes perfectly good sense to me. It would be extremely helpful if you would just leave it at that.

By the way, I did remove a number of offensive posts. If you did not see them it's because I'm doing a good job at keeping this place clean. I'm not done cleaning up yet, I'll get back to it as soon as I can get done with more important problems, and with distractions like this one.

Mike
Moderator, SR

LexieCat

Yup, I only have two thumbs up for our mods.

Shocked, there may have been some ugly posts I missed because they were removed. Trust me, bashing of differing points of view are not tolerated.

My criticism of the article (and, I suppose, inferentially of the person who wrote it) is that it strikes me as rather narrow-minded to blame the demise of her marriage on the program that apparently has saved her former husband's life. It seems a little like someone saying, "Chemotherapy killed my marriage!" because the chemo made the loved one sick, made their hair fall out, maybe caused personality changes that were unattractive. OK, was it the chemo, or your own inability to adjust to the changes brought about by the chemo?

The author of the article is entirely free to live the life she chooses, and to divorce a husband with whom she no longer feels intimate. We all have that freedom. I certainly wouldn't condemn her for it. All I question is whether it is AA's "fault" when it apparently offered her husband what he needed to save his life.

I have the greatest respect for those who choose to (and are able to) attain lasting, healthy sobriety without AA. I know many to whom that applies.

I do, however, take great exception to its being labeled a "cult," a "religion," "mind control" or anything of that nature. It is a program that has helped hundreds of thousands (I don't know the current numbers) of alcoholics to become free of the bondage of addiction. The fact that some people find the same freedom in some other way doesn't diminish that. And, I truly believe, for many alcoholics (by no means all) AA works where other methods do not.

ShockedGF

I think a lot of the posts towards the end of the thread were removed so quickly that my point got lost. I didn't feel attacked personally or singled out, I was simply voicing my opposition to pretty vicious attacks against an author who happened to share a view that differs from many in this forum.

I believe this should be a place where ideas are exchanged and experiences shared. What's becoming increasingly disappointing to me and is the reason I will be leaving this place, is that it appears (to me) that any ideas that don't include an AA/Al-Anon solution or anyone who shares their concerns about the program get attacked.

While my posts trying to point out that people were being a bit closed minded and bashing were removed, the nasty comments made about the author remain - the "******" comment was just ***** out.

I never said I was against AA/Al-Anon. I never said I had a bad experience with the program - I said it wasn't for me but it's cool if it works for you. What I am finding out however, is that I do have a problem with many of its members. If the collective behavior and attitudes are examples of "the program" at work, I'm happy I took a pass.

I can't figure out how to close my account on this site so I'd greatly appreciate it if the moderators would kindly do that for me. I wish everyone here nothing but luck in their journey.

DesertEyes

puuuuhlease I'm trying to get some work done around here. We are a fully public forum, which means children read what we post. Foul language will be ***** out, or if I am totally swamped I"ll just delete the entire post.

Do I have to babysit this place and read every single post? Kindly give it a rest, come back next week, take a walk, breathe some air.

Mike
Moderator, SR