duqld1717

So I feel like I am doing pretty well accepting everything that has happened to me over the last couple of years. Accepting that I was in a toxic relationship and understanding the role and responsibility I had in it. I have come to terms that he is sick and so was I. I am working on my recovery and trying to have healthier relationships in all aspects of my life. I have come to terms that he is most likely never going to get better and I have let go of him emotionally. I do not miss him. I actually do not like him. I have forgiven him, but I don't like him as a person and that's ok. But I still think about what has become of him every once in awhile or I have an intrusive thought about what he did to me. This annoys me. I just want to move on with my life and I wish my brain would follow suit.

How long does it take until you never think about them again or at least only think about them like you think about other people from your past (a couple times a year if that)? And why do we forget about other normal people or other normal relationships that we've had so quickly, but a relationship with an A seems to be engrained in our brains for so long?

I just want my head to move on like my heart has. Thoughts?

Freedom1990

I can't give you a definite time frame because each of us are different, and our processes don't all move at the same speed!

I know it was several months before it wasn't a daily, even hourly thing to think about my dry drunk ex-fiance who walked out on me.

The more I worked on my recovery, the easier it got. It also helped to write a letter to him (not to be sent, but just for me) expressing exactly how I felt, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I find writing in general to be very cathartic.

bonami

agree on the writing;I also think it's a very cathartic way of getting those feelings OUT, or saying things that you want to say to somebody, but that you can't for whatever reason. Sometimes that's what's really needed just to make yourself feel better, I think.