Pet-Anon
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Pet-Anon
I didn't want to totally derail Mike's thread with more about annoying cats, but I've often said there should be some kind of Pet-Anon for animals who have suffered the effects of living with alcoholism.
I have two cats (litter mates) that my son and I adopted when he was living with me. "My" cat is relatively normal--she does normal cat stuff, will cuddle up when it's appropriate, but she isn't in my face 24/7. When he was living with me, my son lavished attention on "his" cat, carrying her around, petting her constantly. When my son moved back to Colorado, I had one year left of active drinking, during which I tended to hole up in the office with the door shut (to keep the cats out of the way). Whenever I came out, my son's cat followed me around, looking for attention.
When I got sober, and got a laptop so I could be on the computer in the living room, my son's cat thought she had died and gone to heaven. I shut my bedroom door at night (I don't like having the cats walking over me when I sleep or shedding in the bedroom), but from the minute I get up in the morning until I go to bed, if I am at home, my son's cat is stuck to me like glue. It doesn't matter how many times I gently tip her off the sofa because the wet nose against my hand is creeping me out, she jumps back up and does it again. Alternatively, she licks me, which also is highly annoying. It is gross having your bare toes licked (unless you happen to be into that sort of thing). She jumps on the counter to help me cook, she actively supervises any repairman in my house.
I would love to send her for some recovery so she could focus on herself, and not on me. This is what I see during most of my waking hours at home (insert my hand with nose pressed against it):
I have two cats (litter mates) that my son and I adopted when he was living with me. "My" cat is relatively normal--she does normal cat stuff, will cuddle up when it's appropriate, but she isn't in my face 24/7. When he was living with me, my son lavished attention on "his" cat, carrying her around, petting her constantly. When my son moved back to Colorado, I had one year left of active drinking, during which I tended to hole up in the office with the door shut (to keep the cats out of the way). Whenever I came out, my son's cat followed me around, looking for attention.
When I got sober, and got a laptop so I could be on the computer in the living room, my son's cat thought she had died and gone to heaven. I shut my bedroom door at night (I don't like having the cats walking over me when I sleep or shedding in the bedroom), but from the minute I get up in the morning until I go to bed, if I am at home, my son's cat is stuck to me like glue. It doesn't matter how many times I gently tip her off the sofa because the wet nose against my hand is creeping me out, she jumps back up and does it again. Alternatively, she licks me, which also is highly annoying. It is gross having your bare toes licked (unless you happen to be into that sort of thing). She jumps on the counter to help me cook, she actively supervises any repairman in my house.
I would love to send her for some recovery so she could focus on herself, and not on me. This is what I see during most of my waking hours at home (insert my hand with nose pressed against it):
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
I see your qualifier is a pretty kitty on the key-board.
I type this as my qualifier Hank the 4 month old chihuahua is leaning up against my laptop
Pet-Anon..I am powerless over my four legged house guests.
I type this as my qualifier Hank the 4 month old chihuahua is leaning up against my laptop
Pet-Anon..I am powerless over my four legged house guests.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lexie))) - if I could get away with having another cat, I'd tell you to send her to me. TWO of my 3 cats are codies, but Elvis is sick, so I'm just as codie with him. I usually have Elvis in my lap, Mots on the filing cabinet next to my desk/laptop or on the bed behind me. Sleeping? At least 2 cats (Elvis ON me) and maybe Patches and the dog join me. Gets a bit difficult to move, with all of them.
I guess I'm still a codie, as far as the furbabies go, though, as I spoil them rotten.
Don't think there's a pet-anon, and once a snuggler, always a snuggler in a cat's mind.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I guess I'm still a codie, as far as the furbabies go, though, as I spoil them rotten.
Don't think there's a pet-anon, and once a snuggler, always a snuggler in a cat's mind.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 51
I love it, I have a older cat that wants attention on her terms only, but we adopted a kitten for about 5 months before it passed away and it would love to lay directly on my keyboard. drove me insane, man how I miss it now.
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yeah, that's the thing. I'd probably miss it if she weren't around.
People who love cats LOVE her because she is such an affection-hog. I just would like a little more moderation in the affection. She tortures my other cat, too. She goes and licks her, blissing the other cat out momentarily (lulling her into a false sense of security) and then bites her or smacks her, causing noisy pursuit throughout the house.
People who love cats LOVE her because she is such an affection-hog. I just would like a little more moderation in the affection. She tortures my other cat, too. She goes and licks her, blissing the other cat out momentarily (lulling her into a false sense of security) and then bites her or smacks her, causing noisy pursuit throughout the house.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
She goes and licks her, blissing the other cat out momentarily (lulling her into a false sense of security) and then bites her or smacks her, causing noisy pursuit throughout the house.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Awwww and I am not a cat person but that is adorable!
If you start a pet-anon, I have a neurotic dog who is also stuck to me like glue. I can't shake her. From the moment I come home to the moment I leave again the next day. this dog stalks me. WTH? She's a PIT BULL no less...biggest needy baby I've ever seen.
But you know what - there's something about it that I kinda like too...as weird as it sounds. Last week I thought she was dying and I rushed her to the vet...turns out she is really in the best shape of her life and really she had been obese and the runs we take daily have really been beneficial...but the thought of her dying made me realize I actually do like this dog! Even though she is totally annoying...
If you start a pet-anon, I have a neurotic dog who is also stuck to me like glue. I can't shake her. From the moment I come home to the moment I leave again the next day. this dog stalks me. WTH? She's a PIT BULL no less...biggest needy baby I've ever seen.
But you know what - there's something about it that I kinda like too...as weird as it sounds. Last week I thought she was dying and I rushed her to the vet...turns out she is really in the best shape of her life and really she had been obese and the runs we take daily have really been beneficial...but the thought of her dying made me realize I actually do like this dog! Even though she is totally annoying...
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I have one cat, indoor outdoor, tried to keep her in, just didn't work. She is now 7, the older she gets the more time she spends indoors with me. She is a good girl who loves to sit on the keyboard of my puter....while I am trying to type, drives me bonkers!
Sounds like your cat has some codependency/abandonment issues. Tho she is a cutie!
Sounds like your cat has some codependency/abandonment issues. Tho she is a cutie!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
My pets definetely need/needed Pet-Anon!!! My kitty (who very sadly passed away this February) was very much impacted by alcoholism (AH's impatience with her, and my own pyschotic tendencies). And our golden retriever - well, it doesn't help that he's a needy golden retriever - but my AH's lack of patience with him... ugh, makes me want to freak out. He, Cooper, follows me around and would climb on my back if I let him!!!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I was just sitting here thinking about how my dogs reacted to my exabf's fits of anger, and, how it affected ua all. My older shihtzu would run out the doggie door and hide in the yard, shaking the whole time, the young one would run around in circles and cry.
I mentioned that to him, he just laughed, the dogs were being abused too. That really made me angery.
Now, my home is filled with smiles and happiness!
I mentioned that to him, he just laughed, the dogs were being abused too. That really made me angery.
Now, my home is filled with smiles and happiness!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
My cat has taken to mostly staying outside due to all the dogs Ah keeps bringing home, she tolerated our old boy(Dusty, he's 12 this year) in fact liked him when it was just Dusty(I have a picture of her and Dusty, not long after I found her, and he's just sniffing her). but once the others came around, she just couldn't handle it. Although, for Ah, the dogs are more of a PTSD issue than an A issue. But the dogs are definitely affected by his drinking, especially the puppies who need the training, etc, but just aren't getting it because he's too "busy" with other stuff.
I'm going to be glad to have my cat back. I miss her sleeping with me, laying in my lap while I try to read, etc.
I'm going to be glad to have my cat back. I miss her sleeping with me, laying in my lap while I try to read, etc.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
I can totally sympathise. I have two "normal" cats who do cat things and come around for a fuss when they feel like it. (both female) I then have the spoilt male who will NOT leave me alone. From the minute he hears me getting up to pee in the early hours of the morning he sits outside my bedroom door and just howls. Literally cries and meows and scratches the door for hours...HOURS!
I had to invest in ear plugs because he won't stop howling just so I can get some sleep.
If he's not on my lap when I'm sitting down he's at my feet just staring at me and waiting for the nod so he can jump up. When I'm cooking he's on the worktop staring at me.
When I go to the bathroom he waits outside for me. Take a shower, you guessed it, he's waiting out side for me. If I go to take the rubbish out he screams until I come back.
He's constantly stealing the others food, attacking them when he's bored, stealing their warm spots on the bed...I've never known anything like it.
He's driving me INSANE! But then I feel guilty for being annoyed with him because sometimes he's just very cute and I do love him to bits. It's my own fault because I spoilt him but sheesh!
I had to invest in ear plugs because he won't stop howling just so I can get some sleep.
If he's not on my lap when I'm sitting down he's at my feet just staring at me and waiting for the nod so he can jump up. When I'm cooking he's on the worktop staring at me.
When I go to the bathroom he waits outside for me. Take a shower, you guessed it, he's waiting out side for me. If I go to take the rubbish out he screams until I come back.
He's constantly stealing the others food, attacking them when he's bored, stealing their warm spots on the bed...I've never known anything like it.
He's driving me INSANE! But then I feel guilty for being annoyed with him because sometimes he's just very cute and I do love him to bits. It's my own fault because I spoilt him but sheesh!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
You want to see annoying? Try living with a Siamese cat ! :-)
I've had both friendly, utterly useless house cats, as well as quasi-feral ones that would rip your face off if you tried to pet them. The latter are great exterminators.
They each have their place.
I've had both friendly, utterly useless house cats, as well as quasi-feral ones that would rip your face off if you tried to pet them. The latter are great exterminators.
They each have their place.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
See, I like my cats a little more aloof. AH brought home one of those ultra-friendly cats, and honestly, he bugs the crap out of me. He is just too friendly. maybe I don't like him because he seems almost codie? LOL My cat, and Sylvester, the 5 toed cat(he has to stay here, I could only bring one cat) are both friendly, but not in your face like Ah's cat is. And the other two are excellent hunters, my cat can take down a bird mid air, and Sylvester can scale a tree in less than 5 seconds.
A work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The annoying one is also undersized (she looks like a 10-m/o kitten, though she is almost five years old) and I sometimes wonder if she isn't mildly, um, intellectually challenged.
Present
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
OMG I love felines.
XAH brought a beautiful Mancoon (breed was at least part if not all) into our home, a cat who had been staying at XAH's mother's (yes I found XAH there too, ignored the clue). I changed this beautiful cat's name to Gandalf after the divorce because the name the X had given him just didn't fit and wasn't regal enough
His name was Gandalf BEFORE the Lord of the Rings movies came out. He WAS named after Gandalf.
After the divorce, I wrote a short story called, "The Cat Who Arranged A Marriage To Find A New Owner."
It was because of the way I saw my XAH treating Gandalf that I realized how badly he was treating me. Gandalf was ready to get out, and worked on me to get out, too.
Life for Gandalf after the divorce was so much better. He became much more outgoing. He was a big cat, 20 pounds of loveable muscle and fur (longhair) that needed to be brushed often. The neighbors would say that Gandalf was as friendly as any dog they knew, and they would say, "Gandalf is the cat who thinks he's a dog!" They meant it in the best of ways.
The vets loved him too. They'd kiss on him just like I did <3 He was irresistible. He didn't crave attention or get in anyone's face; he just went from being a sort of depressed cat with XAH, to being a happy, loveable furball.
He came down with diabetes, and then asthma, so needed a lot of care and medication for his health. He died in December 2007 at the age of 17, in my arms during an asthma attack. It was quick. I did try to resuscitate him a bit but then I realized it was time to let him go. My AH was so good to him too; we both mourned him for quite a while.
XAH brought a beautiful Mancoon (breed was at least part if not all) into our home, a cat who had been staying at XAH's mother's (yes I found XAH there too, ignored the clue). I changed this beautiful cat's name to Gandalf after the divorce because the name the X had given him just didn't fit and wasn't regal enough
His name was Gandalf BEFORE the Lord of the Rings movies came out. He WAS named after Gandalf.
After the divorce, I wrote a short story called, "The Cat Who Arranged A Marriage To Find A New Owner."
It was because of the way I saw my XAH treating Gandalf that I realized how badly he was treating me. Gandalf was ready to get out, and worked on me to get out, too.
Life for Gandalf after the divorce was so much better. He became much more outgoing. He was a big cat, 20 pounds of loveable muscle and fur (longhair) that needed to be brushed often. The neighbors would say that Gandalf was as friendly as any dog they knew, and they would say, "Gandalf is the cat who thinks he's a dog!" They meant it in the best of ways.
The vets loved him too. They'd kiss on him just like I did <3 He was irresistible. He didn't crave attention or get in anyone's face; he just went from being a sort of depressed cat with XAH, to being a happy, loveable furball.
He came down with diabetes, and then asthma, so needed a lot of care and medication for his health. He died in December 2007 at the age of 17, in my arms during an asthma attack. It was quick. I did try to resuscitate him a bit but then I realized it was time to let him go. My AH was so good to him too; we both mourned him for quite a while.
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
The adoption of my kitten was my final step in officially deciding that my relationship with XABF was over, because XABF was always talking about how he hated cats and couldn't understand why anyone would want one. So it was a very big decision for me, and one that I am very grateful that I've made.
Peaches in a way has become a barometer of my own recovery. She's never met XABF, and never will, but she's seen me at my worst.
When I first brought her home, after she explored the entire apartment, she had to be by my side constantly. She'd sleep curled up next to me as close as she could get; she'd sit in my lap whenever I sat down; she'd rub against my legs wherever I walked; she'd climb onto my shoulders and stay there as I walked around the apartment.
As I've become more comfortable with myself, she's become more comfortable just being by herself, too. She generally prefers to be in the same room as me, but now she's got her favorite perches while I do what I'm doing. She likes to be close enough to observe me, so that she can determine if I'm going to pull out something good to eat or fun to play with, but she keeps herself amused. She'll still crawl into my lap, but now it's more of a very catlike "Why do you think that book is more interesting to look at than me?" action, and once I assure her that I love her too, she and the book return to peaceful coexistence. (Most of my books have bite marks in the corner of the cover now, though.)
She doesn't mind spending time in other rooms, now, if it looks like I'm busy with something so she knows it will be awhile until playtime. Sometimes I worry that I accidentally locked her in a closet, though, so I'll do my attempt of a meow, and she'll just happily meow back to let me know she's okay, and continue doing whatever it is she's doing.
She's good motivation to work through my emotions, since she's very good at picking up on them, and sometimes realizes I have a problem before I realize it.
She's also good at helping me realize the impact that simple negative events can have. For example, she's generally an extremely calm cat, but is currently afraid of the bathroom and running water since her bath on Sunday. Unfortunately she extended this fear to her water bowl and litter box as well, so there was an accident involving a throw rug Sunday night, but we've been spending some fun time together in the bathroom with the sink water running, her favorite toy, and lots of cat treats, so she's making a quick recovery.
I feel like a cat therapist right now.
But to be honest, she helps me a lot more than I help her. <3
Peaches in a way has become a barometer of my own recovery. She's never met XABF, and never will, but she's seen me at my worst.
When I first brought her home, after she explored the entire apartment, she had to be by my side constantly. She'd sleep curled up next to me as close as she could get; she'd sit in my lap whenever I sat down; she'd rub against my legs wherever I walked; she'd climb onto my shoulders and stay there as I walked around the apartment.
As I've become more comfortable with myself, she's become more comfortable just being by herself, too. She generally prefers to be in the same room as me, but now she's got her favorite perches while I do what I'm doing. She likes to be close enough to observe me, so that she can determine if I'm going to pull out something good to eat or fun to play with, but she keeps herself amused. She'll still crawl into my lap, but now it's more of a very catlike "Why do you think that book is more interesting to look at than me?" action, and once I assure her that I love her too, she and the book return to peaceful coexistence. (Most of my books have bite marks in the corner of the cover now, though.)
She doesn't mind spending time in other rooms, now, if it looks like I'm busy with something so she knows it will be awhile until playtime. Sometimes I worry that I accidentally locked her in a closet, though, so I'll do my attempt of a meow, and she'll just happily meow back to let me know she's okay, and continue doing whatever it is she's doing.
She's good motivation to work through my emotions, since she's very good at picking up on them, and sometimes realizes I have a problem before I realize it.
She's also good at helping me realize the impact that simple negative events can have. For example, she's generally an extremely calm cat, but is currently afraid of the bathroom and running water since her bath on Sunday. Unfortunately she extended this fear to her water bowl and litter box as well, so there was an accident involving a throw rug Sunday night, but we've been spending some fun time together in the bathroom with the sink water running, her favorite toy, and lots of cat treats, so she's making a quick recovery.
I feel like a cat therapist right now.
But to be honest, she helps me a lot more than I help her. <3
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