Alcoholic "RELAPSE"...Where do you draw the line???

Old 07-01-2011, 01:41 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by yeahgr8 View Post
I find it very ironic that i would not put up with a partner who was in active addiction even though many partners of mine did...maybe it's because i know how futile it is and was to be involved in any way shape or form with the addict/alcoholic all the while they have little or no intention of getting help to recover?
I find this interesting. I don't think my RAH would have stayed with me had the shoe been on the other foot. As a matter of fact, his girlfriend before me got the boot because she was a Democrat (no offense intended to Democrats). So I can't imagine he'd tolerate an addict/alcoholic.
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Old 07-04-2011, 04:14 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Well okay, there some different views of it......

I have thought about this for the past few days and have read each and every post...

My feelings on this:

What is the difference on slips or relapse? NOTHING, its still drinking

Why do I feel so strongly against 1 slip or 1 relapse?
I would have to say because, I have nothing left to give to the diesase.
It has robbed me from my husband, my best friend, my lover,my family, my feelings,
my happiness, my finances, my dreams.

It has affected the entire family & caused alot of issues with my kids

It has caused me years of embrassment, shame, pity, sorrow and I really cant
find one damn thing it has done for me in a positive happy way.

It has caused me to pay for a $10,000 DUI and a $10,000 Rehab center
along with $200,000 debt

I think my tolerance has dwindled down to nothing...

Do I have compassion?
Oh hell yeah, if someone is really trying, without me having to be their babysitter
I think the days & nights living on the road in hiding, makes a person real tired.
I think trying to work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week to support relapse/slips
is nuts! And...Oh hell yeah, if someone is really wanting to be sober and really working the program. That alone is huge progress in the alcoholics that I have meet. They have
desire, they have passion to live life again. The poor me ****, gets real old...
I have no compassion for people who use crutches for their lives.

Look around, there is some sad stories out there in peoples lives. Some make the choice
to go beyond and make it better. Some would rather lay in their **** and cry about it.
I have raised some adopted kids, that really have all rights to do drugs or drink
and use that as crutches in their lives. But they have choose to go beyond and become
successful people. And I would include myself in that pile. It's all about choices.
I realize alcohol is a diesase. But its not a crutch to continue to slip or relapse, to me
that is an excuse to drink. The passion to drink or the passion to live life, Pick one!

Do I have love for my xah?
Oh hell yeah, he was my best friend. Keyword (WAS)
My best friend would have never done this to himself or me

Did I detach with love or boot him to the corner?
Yes, I have detached with love. I pray everyday for him, that God will heal him
and make him a whole person again. But at this time, I believe I will end up burying
him before I ever see him sober.

I can not fix him, I can not quit loving him, but I sure can not live with him either!

Do I think Im a perfect person?
Hell no, But God also gave me a brain to use!!

His choices, are they really?
Yes, he chooses to drink. He chooses not to follow the program.
He has the choice to make a difference in his life & understand he is an alcoholic.
Moving across the country did not keep him sober, like he thought it was going too.
He is the only one who can fix himself. Just because he is going down the toliet
doesnt mean I have to with him. I do have some Christain friends who disagree with
me, but that is their choice. Until they have walked in my shoes, I grant them their
own opinion. I say that like a Queen B, but most people think its just having too many
cocktails, they dont understand the severity of an alcoholic. And they dont see what
happens behind closed doors of my home..

I think the words Relapse - Slips - Really needs to be defined in ones vocabulary

My xah was relapsing 3 weeks after rehab, with a fifth of whiskey every day
My xah was having slips 3 weeks after rehab, with a fifth of whiskey a day

I think they are "trickey" words, that are used as hall passes to justify drinking.

Guess thats why he calls me the Queen B....
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Old 07-04-2011, 04:17 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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One more thing...When I hear the stories from alcoholics that say
they have been sober for ?? years, never picked up a drink, and loves life

Now, that raises the hair on my neck!!!

They made a choice

I have all respect, compassion & love for them

Its a tough battle for all of us
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