Blogs


Notices

Anxiety about Alanon

Old 06-27-2011, 11:40 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
FLsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 63
Anxiety about Alanon

Today i was going to go to Alanon for the first time. RAH is out of town and its a perfect time to go. HP put it very close to my work

BUT.. my anxiety is increasing about it.. Not the content of the meeting but the setting of it really. I went to an open AA once and there wasn't anywhere to "hid in the back" with circle seating. I like to observe first, take it all in but i'm afraid once your inside the room then its "full on" people contact time and we are very close together.

Its sounds crazy, i know... (shrug)
FLsunshine is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FLsunshine For This Useful Post:
Carol Star (06-27-2011), Darklight (06-27-2011), runsinthefamily (06-27-2011), TeM (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 11:49 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Blog Entries: 4
The good part about these meetings is you don't have to say anything. You'll probably get a newcomers packet and some kind words from people there, and that's it. It is the most non-threatening environment I've ever encountered. At least within my home group...
Tuffgirl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Tuffgirl For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-27-2011), lillamy (06-27-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011), StarCat (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:11 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 273
First meeting I went to I sat "outside" the circle I didn't talk, nobody forced me to participate.
It was hard and very emotional but I stuck it out and kept on trying different meetings until I found some that were right for me.
gowest is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gowest For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:14 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
GettingBy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
I was so scared of my first meeting too. I think that's really normal. I remember getting there, sitting in silence... and then spending most of the meeting crying.

Just get yourself in the door... and the rest will work itself out!
GettingBy is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GettingBy For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011), StarCat (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:21 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
rose68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 51
Today was my 5th week going and I remember the first day, I have to drive 30 mins to get there and I talked my self out of going at least ten times. But once I walked in the door I knew I was right were I needed to be and they ask me if I wanted to say anything but that I didn't have to. I opened up and it felt wonderful to be in a place that was full of people who understood the path I am on, because they have all walked a similar path. And it was good to find out I was not being judged, and that It wasn't my fault. I didn't cause it, I cant control it and I cant cure it. Such a relief.
rose68 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rose68 For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011), StarCat (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:29 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,605
Blog Entries: 8
Oh, yes, Mr. HG and I were scared out of our gourds the first time.....but we had a great experience and were greeted by wonderful, welcoming folks who completely understood our situation.

Here's a hug for courage! :ghug3
Seren is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:31 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Carol Star's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Blog Entries: 2
You do not have to speak. You can say "I pass."
Carol Star is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Carol Star For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-27-2011), StarCat (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:49 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
 
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I say take a little of our couarge with you and give it a try - after all what have you got to lose?

oh maybe that knot in your stomach,
pain in your neck
tension in your head

and to gain . . .

peace in your heart
friends
serenity
knowledge of the disease
tools of the program
recovery literature

and you don't even have to say your name if you don't want to

PINK HUGS,
Rita
MsPINKAcres is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MsPINKAcres For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 12:49 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
TeM
Member
 
TeM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 255
Don't feel crazy. I haven't even gotten up the courage to find a local meeting yet. I know I should... I know it would probably help a lot... but the idea still intimidates me. I've never been much for speaking in public settings or joining groups, so my anxiety level is very high.

Good luck... maybe your experience will encourage others like me to take the plunge.
TeM is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TeM For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), marie1960 (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 03:05 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 130
Blog Entries: 2
I know exactly how you feel -- I'm planning on going to my first meeting tonight, and I keep giving myself all these reasons I shouldn't go (have to write those articles, baby's bedtime is right in the middle of the meeting, etc.) but I'm GOING to go. I've told as many people as I can that I'm going so there's some accountability, and I only have a 5-minute drive from home to talk myself out of it. The other meetings in town are a mere 5 blocks away, but they're later in the week. I know when it comes time I'm going to get baby ready to go, put her in the pickup, and drive to the church where the meeting is held. I'm just focusing on driving over there. Once I get there I can worry about actually walking through the door.

Having been in a bunch of group therapy sessions (inpatient care as a teenager) I am very glad to hear that no one pressures anyone to talk. With the therapy groups I've been in it's like, "Okay, R, it's your turn, tell us about all the horrible parts of your life." From everything I've heard, as long as I can get myself through the door at that meeting then I'll be glad I went.
wywriter is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to wywriter For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011), GettingBy (06-27-2011), rose68 (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 03:54 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: chicago, IL
Posts: 64
I think those feelings are natural. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting last week, in fact. I was intimidated at first, but the group was so welcoming and warm, I really 'enjoyed' it for lack of a better term.

I felt kind of guilty, because I have only been with my wife in recovery, and some of the group members have active addict spouses. When it was my turn to talk, I mentioned that, and they told me not to worry because alcoholism is a lifelong disease, no matter which stage you are in.

I'm definitely going back this week.
Seenet is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Seenet For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 04:03 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
FLsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 63
Well.. I have ran out of excuses so far. Daughter might want me to come home after work? Nope.. She has plans.I'm hungry and not a lot of money to eat out? McD's has 1.00 nuggents today and 1.00 sweet tea
In the parking lot.. Pre_observing those going in. Don't see anyone with four arms or an extra eye. Someone was carrying something in tho. Looks like harmless coffee and muffins.. Ugh..
A lady just walked by me with a courage to change book tucked under her arm and a huge smile..
FLsunshine is offline  
Old 06-27-2011, 04:06 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
outonalimb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
I hope you went to the meeting...

It can be intimidating at first but I'm sure the people there will be very welcoming.

You have SO MUCH to gain by going...
I'm cheering you on...

Mary
outonalimb is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to outonalimb For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 04:12 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 428
I hope you made it inside. I was also very nervous about going. I have a hard time with new things period. It took all of my courage to walk in and sit down, but I am so glad I did it. The understanding and wisdom is those rooms is so powerful. I missed my meeting today and it actually made me a bit sad. I always walk out of there feeling better. Every time I go I hear something that sticks with me, a life skill that I can use the rest of my life.
Alone22 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Alone22 For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-27-2011), rose68 (06-27-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 06:55 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Starting over
 
DesertEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,427
Blog Entries: 1
ummm......
well.......
okay, admission time. I who am such a _huge_ supporter of al-anon sat in the parking lot _three_ whole times before I got the courage to walk inside.

And I'm no wuss, either. I sponsor cops, navy seals, marines, bikers and other such macho-men. But walking into a room full of strangers when I was so filled with pain? nope.

Three whole times. Then I finally made it in on the fourth and whadya know. Everybody else in there was filled with their own pain and they were _glad_ to have me share it with them. Amazing.

So yeah, if you're nervous about going, you're doing just fine cuz we all are.

Mike
DesertEyes is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to DesertEyes For This Useful Post:
Alone22 (06-28-2011), FLsunshine (06-27-2011), LexieCat (06-27-2011), Tuffgirl (06-28-2011), wywriter (06-28-2011)
Old 06-27-2011, 07:55 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
FLsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 63
My last ditch effort to just stay in the parking lot.. I decided i would ask someone going in about the meeting and seating (circle or not, lol). A minute until meeting time. I find this guy who "looked" like he had been there before.
Me: You going to the Alanon meeting
Him: Yes (Great i thought)
Me: How is the meeting?
Him: Idk, i've never been to one (Ugh!!, i thought)
Me: I'm very nervous
Him: Me too
Me: You go in first
After overcoming the initial embarrassment of the group thinking we had come "together" ( i guess i hid behind him too well, lol)
The meeting was PERFECT and just what i needed..
Thanks to all, for your support
FLsunshine is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to FLsunshine For This Useful Post:
Alone22 (06-28-2011), catlovermi (06-28-2011), Chino (06-27-2011), GettingBy (06-27-2011), LarryATL (06-28-2011), LexieCat (06-27-2011), rose68 (06-27-2011), Tuffgirl (06-28-2011)
Old 06-28-2011, 05:09 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Great, keep comin' back!
LexieCat is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LexieCat For This Useful Post:
FLsunshine (06-29-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:33 AM.