griswold

I feel like our marriage has hit rock bottom but I guess that's where it needs to be before anything positive can happen. This morning things blew up big time and she left ten minutes ago to stay at her dad's house for a couple nights. Over the past week I have expressed my displeasure with her drinking and the effects it has had on our relationship. It was a tough pill to swallow but she came back with remorse and agreed with me. Fast forward to last night. We had a rough weekend, nothing to do with drinking, and things kind of came to head. Long story short we ended up at dinner and she ordered a couple drinks and told me I didn't have to drink. Like I posted before, I find myself drinking with her to feel closer with her. I feel like such a hypocrite for drinking last night and feel like I ruined things. One drink led to many more and we got pretty drunk. This morning we had words and I informed her that I had posted on here and was planning on attending an Al-Anon meeting. That's when the crap hit the fan. She said that she felt betrayed that I would go behind her back like that and talk to other people about things. Then she was also pissed that I felt the way I did and still drank with her last night. I know it was so stupid of me to drink with her last night. I was feeling really emotionally disconnected and just wanted that closeness.

I'm really scared of losing her but know its no way to live like we have been living. I'm glad I have somewhere like this to post where others have gone through or are going through what I am. Not even 8am and the day pretty much sucks.

Alone22

Al-anon will help you find your own recovery and should help you heal. We all make mistakes and I would have to agree drinking with her was not the best idea. Spending a little time apart maybe the best thing right now. It will give you both some time to think about what you want from your marriage and how to move forward from this point. I would try to go to a meeting today and get that ball rolling.

Freedom1990

I do hope you give Alanon a try. It has taught me so much, and today I don't have to let someone else's actions or harsh words affect me!

Sending gentle hugs your way on the Kansas breezes!

rose68

I hope you make it to an Alanon meeting, I went to one today after a very rough weekend. I swear I could find a dozen reasons to not go today, but the one reason I did go was because I need it for me. I too screwed up and drank a few yesterday, I know I shouldnt of. But I was upset and I guess I figured if I drank those two at least it was two less he would drink(stupid reason)and didnt help at all. Still had arguement, forgot to use the tools I have learned in Alanon. But todays meeting helped me to get back focused on myself. I hope you find peace in getting some help for you.

MsPINKAcres

I too hope you make it to that al-anon meeting !

One of the greatest things I learned was the 3 C's

I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it

In most cases, it doesn't matter what we do or don't do - alcoholics/addicts are going to do what they are going to do regardless ~ it is just up to us to determine what we want to do with our lives - what is healthy for us.

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Carol Star

Forgive yourself, learn the lesson (a Buddhist monk). Don't drink with her. We know better- we do better. Work the program you wish she would work. Focus on you. There were things you enjoyed before you met her. Do them. Alanon helps because they have been there and know how you feel. Depression is worrying about yesterday. Anxiety is worrying about tomorrow. Stay in the moment.