rose68

Congrats on making some break thoughs in your recovery. There have been a lot of times I wish I had a video camera or a tape recorder to get some of my AHs quacks on tape, just so I would have proof that I am not the crazy one, that is what he tells everyone the next day, he seems not to ever remember his actions and words from the fights. This place has been so helpful, before I found it I thought maybe I was the crazy one till I read the quack page and so many of them rang true for my life. It is like they are all programed with the same tired old lines to try and draw us in and justify their own behaviors

GettingBy

ME TOO!!! I have always wanted to see the best in everyone! Wanted to believe that deep down everyone is a good person. I've always felt that by not having "faith" in my AH - I was giving up on him, or labeling him as damaged goods, or whatever.

The reality is... he has continually shown me WHO HE IS... and I have continually chosen TO IGNORE IT!!!!!! Ack. And that's not to say he's wholely a bad person, he's not. He's just not a person that I really want in my life. He does things that I don't agree with. And yet, my heart keeps me stuck - wanting to think he will somehow magically change into this husband I have built up in my mind.

I'm struggling with this reality today (and yesterday), so I'm grateful for this thread. Grateful for the opportunity to talk through my thoughts/feelings.